Pal has no time for me
CHEF’S NEW BOOK COOKS UP STORM
MY oldest friend rarely answers her phone. Some weeks I call her 10 times before she picks up.
When we do eventually speak she’s always doing something else. Once she was chopping down a tree. Another time she was clipping the dog’s toenails and then fixing a broken toilet. I struggle to hear her on the call.
I accept that she’s very busy and deeply in love with a wonderful man and I’m happy for her.
I realise that I’ve fallen down the pecking order but would it kill her to give me five minutes of her time?
All I ever want to do is say “hello” and ask her how she is.
JANE SAYS: What would happen if you never called your friend again? Do you think she would pick up the phone to you?
I get the impression that she has moved on both emotionally and physically.
Perhaps you need to accept that you and she are done.
You don’t want to be thought of as a chore or a nuisance.
Get on with your own projects and concentrate on more reliable or even new friends, and accept that this woman doesn’t complete or define you.
WITH summer finally here and football on the box, millions of people are getting together to enjoy food and drink in the sun.
And now top celeb chef Tom Kerridge has put together a new guide called Outdoor Cooking to help you make the most of some great al fresco fare.
But, with figures showing each of us puts away an average of 3,200 calories at a typical barbecue, can you really enjoy some grill thrills healthily?
The TV star, 47, reckons the answer is yes – but you have to think carefully about what to chuck on the barbie.
Healthy
He says: “There are plenty of options for you to have something cooked on the barbecue which tastes amazing, superflavoursome, but is also healthy.
“Instead of your usual burger and sausages and high-fat or high-calorie carbs like bread, there are lots of things you can do.
“A simple piece of grilled fish with olive oil on it, or cooking char-roasted vegetables for example. You don’t need processed meat and fats.
“You can do healthy coleslaws and tiny little roasted potatoes that are cooked in the coals instead of your traditional potato salad, simply drizzled with olive oil or lemon juice.”
Tom even recommends trying out fruit. He says: “Fruit on the barbecue is amazing, something like a pineapple is just fantastic.
“Watermelon goes really well with it, but stone fruit is normally the best, things like apricots, peaches, nectarines. They’ve got their own natural sugars in them so when you just put them on the barbecue they caramelise, and you get that lovely, charred flavour.
“Add a simple dollop of crème fraiche and drizzle of honey.”
Tom famously lost a whopping 12st, partly by cutting down on booze and carbs. The trigger was a major birthday.
He says: “It was the realisation that I was nearly 40 and I had to change if I wanted to do another 40.’” According to the star the key to success was “true mental focus”.
He adds: “You become so obsessively self-centred with it to the point where it is all about you not eating stuff, not going to the pub, not doing all of those things.
“If you focus on it, you can achieve anything.”
But Tom admits it’s a “constant battle” to stay trim.
He explains: “I’m never happy with it, no, but I’m much more in control of trying to find the balance.
“I know that for the rest of my life I’m going to be battling my weight because my life is about food and I am a person of excess. It’s constantly in my mindset.
“It will be something that will be there that I have to address and deal with, but I’m cool with that.”
Yet Tom confesses that he is now “a 100% different person”.
Happy
And he works hard to keep his fitness levels up, even running 5k every day during lockdown, training on a static bike and doing weights. He says: “I’ve not got any fitter, I’ve just kind of maintained things – if anything I have bulked a little bit because I haven’t been doing as much circuit training and cardio stuff.”
In normal times, Tom goes to the gym five or six days a week.
He says: “I’ll either do a swim day of 1km, ride anywhere between 18-30k on a bike or do an hour of weights.”
Tom recently launched the Full Time meals campaign with England footballer
Marcus Rashford to help people create basic healthy meals on a budget. He says: “We’re trying make sure no child goes to bed hungry, that the food is substantial, and they are happy.”
And now he’s encouraging us all to get active while we enjoy some food and drink outside. He adds: “Being outside and active is a big thing, not just sitting around and being lumpy round a table.
“Join in with the rest of the activities going on. Go and play football or smack a cricket ball. “And be confident with the barbecue. It’s not rocket science – just enjoy it.”