OLYMPIC ME UP NOW, TA

From flame to Games

DOES anybody know where a bloke can find a person to hang out with, talk to and enjoy spending time with?

Asking for a friend.

I’d like to be pals with the Grade A plonker who lit a flare lodged in his bum cheeks. He would brighten up the most boring events. I’d have him on hand every time I meet the in-laws.

I’d even tune in to the Great British Bake Off if he was on it. Just imagine his showstopper.

His antics were the bright spot of yet another heartbreaking England defeat.

Though cheer up Three Lions fans – remember you can always tell your grandkids you were there when they scraped a goalless draw against Scotland.

It’s a shame the team couldn’t get over the line. It may be the last time we could have seen a Tottenham player lift a trophy in our lifetime. There were some English winners. It was good news for David Baddiel and Frank Skinner.

They can roll that bloody song out again for the foreseeable as it looks like it will never actually come home.

The Euros are over but we have some fun to look forward to, including music festivals being back. Organisers of the Devon and Cornwall music festival have been arguing over the first act on the main stage. They can’t decide whether it should be Cream or The Jam.

And the Tokyo Olympics start on Friday. Though due to Covid there will be no fans to cheer on the action.

It will be like watching a Manchester City game.

I reckon the Brits will lift spirits and bring home a sackful of gold medals. TEAM GB to win more than 13.5 gold medals: William Hill – 10-13