Trump is a White wally

DONALD Trump wanted to “execute” a White House staff member who leaked that he had been taken down to the bunker during protests after the death of George Floyd. At the time, the former US President, left, told the world he was “inspecting” it – but it has now emerged he ran to it out of fear.

“Whoever did that, they should be charged with treason,” old Donnie yelled at his cronies according to a new book. “They should be executed.”

Makes you wonder why “Bunker Boy” didn’t see the protests as peaceful lovefests, like his insurrection festival.

SNAP, crackle and lock. Prison guard Marcy Shaffer, 43, has been fired and arrested after trying to smuggle prescription pills into a South Carolina women’s prison by hiding them in Rice Krispies treats. A cereal offender.

MICHIGAN’S David Olson made a striking discovery under his house – 160 bowling balls.

As the 33-year-old was demolishing his back stairs, he found one buried behind a breeze block, only to discover dozens more.

“I was actually a little happy about that because it’s a little easier to roll bowling balls out of the way than to move the sand and figure out where to put all that,” he said.

STAFF at a Burger King in Nebraska gave bosses food for thought when then all walked out.

No one in Lincoln could have missed their whopper of an announcement.

Letting customers know of the shock move, they changed the sign outside, right, to read: “WE ALL QUIT – SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.”

EYEBROWS were raised at New Orleans airport when US Customs and Border Protection agents confiscated a haul of illegal goods – 3,000 false Chinese-made eyelashes.

IT is now legal to practice barbering on Sunday in the state of New York.

Although the prohibition-era law was rarely enforced, it was illegal for someone to get a shave or cut someone else’s hair on a Sunday until last week.

AND FINALLY...

PS – Away from my local this week, but never let it be said New Mexicans don’t have a sense of humour. Outside a takeaway in Las Cruces read a sign: “A well-balanced diet is a taco in each hand.”