Fella stopped my flings with mates
PARTIES BANNED AS WELL
I’VE been a bit of a naughty girl – I’ve had sex with all of my boyfriend’s mates.
Now he’s saying I can’t go out in a mixed group again if we’re to stay together.
In future it’ll just be me and him in pubs, clubs and cafés.
There will be no more parties, rowdy holidays or festivals for me. He says he loves me but is disgusted at being made a fool of.
Cheeky
I admit that I’ve been a handful in the past but I’m willing to change.
He and I got together in early 2019. Back then I was drinking a lot, taking stuff and generally careering around.
My job was rubbish and my life had no direction.
When I met him I was like a kid in a sweet shop. He had so many cheeky, hunky mates that I couldn’t help myself but flirt and muck around.
Back then my guy was away a lot so I worked my way through his chums.
One fella used to take me to fancy hotels for kinky fun, while another simply bonked me in the back of his oily workshop.
Recently my guy and I were playing a truth game. He told me some stuff about sleeping with his ex, so I waded in with my
stories. Now he’s attempting to tame me. I can’t live my life being told what to do. I accept that I have crossed several lines but he just has to trust me from now on.
How do I make him see that?
JANE SAYS: You have to take responsibility for everything you did. Your guy clearly trusted you when he was away and you let him down.
You can’t blame booze, drugs or the fact that you were going through a “funny phase’”
You behaved like a brat and now he’s angry. That said, it takes two to tango
and he can’t have very nice mates if they were so eager and accommodating.
Is he planning to take them to task?
I’m taking from your problem that he doesn’t really know you at all.
For a large portion of your relationship he had no idea what you were up to, yet he’s now attempting to control you.
This sounds like a case of locking the stable door after the horse has bolted.
You may have done wrong, but he can’t assume to keep you under wraps for ever. I
suggest you give him a formal apology for letting him down and then wish him well.
You and he started off badly and then went downhill from there on.
Yes, you do deserve a fresh start – away from him – and he needs to take back control of his own life too.
If you need professional help then seek it.
Consider the importance of sexual health.
No lover has the right to put you in a box and alienate you from other people no matter how badly you’ve behaved.