Pre-nup puts me off our marriage
PAPERS RUINING BIG DAY
MY girl wants me to sign a pre-nuptial agreement.
We’re due to get married next year and I should be on cloud nine, but she’s suddenly sprung this poisonous document on me – and now I don’t know what’s going on.
She huffs that it’s “no biggie”; it’s just something that her father has had drawn up, it’s simply another piece of paper that I don’t need to worry about because we love each other. But I do worry.
Insulting
Why is she doing this to me? Does she expect our marriage to fail? Does she honestly think that I’d attempt to fleece her and take her to the cleaners? This is so insulting.
I consider myself a decent bloke with old-fashioned values and this stinks.
She’s an only child with welloff parents.
I don’t like to think ahead but it’s likely that she’ll inherit their house and a bit of cash, so she has something to protect.
My parents rent and don’t have two bob to rub together but it would never cross my mind to get her to sign a stingy pre-nup if the roles were reversed.
Surely, they’re only for Hollywood film stars and mega-rich businesspeople? This episode
has revealed a whole other side to her personality; one that I’m not very keen on.
She presented me with this document a couple of weeks ago and we’ve not slept together since. If I’m honest I’m keeping my distance while I inwardly digest what it all means.
As far as she’s concerned, I’m flat out at work but I’m staying with my brother and chewing his ear off.
She keeps ringing me; telling me that we have to talk. But what about? She’s adamant that this paper is a reality but what happens if I don’t sign? Will the wedding be called off? I feel like a rat
in a trap pleading for my dignity and my future.
JANE SAYS: You can’t take this personally, pre-nups are now more common than you might imagine.
A recent survey by the think-tank, The Marriage Foundation, found that one in five couples married since 2000 may have some sort of agreement in place.
At the moment pre-nups are not technically legally binding in the UK but they can be a useful tool when it comes to the division of assets upon divorce. Of course,
no-one goes into a marriage anticipating a split, but times and circumstances can change.
Is this pre-nup your girl’s idea or is her father pushing for it? What does she really think about it?
Is this a deal breaker as far as you’re concerned?
Stop hiding and start talking.
Take the time to go through the document together – show it to a solicitor of your own – and make an educated, adult decision.
You have to do whatever feels right to you.