Too scared to tell lover about baby
FORGOT TO TAKE THE PILL
I’M too frightened to tell my married lover that I’m pregnant with his baby.
He will be furious. He’ll accuse me of trying to trap him.
He told me to use contraception – and I promised him I was on the pill – but I kept forgetting to take it.
Then I was ill with a recurring upset stomach and lost track of my period dates.
Now I’m about 10 weeks gone and friends warn me that I’m going to start showing soon.
He’s due back from a business trip to New York next week. He keeps texting how much he’s missed me. He’s super horny and keen for us to hook up.
Apparently, he’s secured a massive deal and is in line for a huge pay rise and bonus.
He wants to celebrate with me at a top hotel suite with bubbly and rude food like oysters and chocolate sauce.
At the moment , simply thinking about rich food and booze makes me feel queasy.
I’m having a tough time with morning/all-day sickness as it is, I certainly don’t fancy him jumping all over me with a can of squirty cream in his hand too.
When we first met, he told me he hated his wife and that his marriage was over. But then she
got pregnant (I didn’t even realise that they were still sleeping together) and she had twins, which he’s never forgiven her for because they now tie him to her for another 20 years.
I’m not interested in being with him full time, but I want to keep my baby. And I think he should contribute to the costs, and support me, don’t you?
I’m in no doubt that he’ll accuse me of cheating on him and sleeping around, but I haven’t.
This is all such a mess.
JANE SAYS: Arrange to see the father of your unborn child when he gets back into
the country and make sure you control the situation from the start.
Do not get talked into a hotel suite. Insist you meet in a private, neutral location where you’re able to talk like reasonable adults.
I know you feel frightened and unsure, but simply tell him the truth - that you’re pregnant with his baby – and happy about it.
No, this baby wasn’t planned, but it is wanted and you will be keeping it.
Don’t allow him to tell you that you’ve ruined his life or attempted to trap him
because you know that’s not true. In not too many months, a precious child will be born – his child – and it would be wonderful and appropriate for him to play a caring and active role in his or her life.
Ultimately a DNA test will prove the child is his and his financial contribution will have to be worked out.
I suggest you turn to trusted friends and relatives for support. Make sure that you take good care of yourself and try not to worry.
Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad for following your heart.