Boyfriend romps with old women
THINKS THEY’RE SEXIER
I’M my boyfriend’s official partner, but he sleeps with other lovers on the side.
He has a thing for much older women and talks dirty to them online. He goes away for luxury weekends and gets them to buy him expensive gifts.
He huffs that there’s room in his life for all sorts of people and that he won’t be bound by the rules of convention, but what about my feelings?
It’s not nice knowing that he’s out getting his rocks off with women who are 20, 30 or even 40 years older than me.
I’m 28 and I’ve accused him of only staying with me because I give him credibility and cover.
He says I’m daft. But his parents and boss are very traditional and I’m the one he wheels out for family gatherings and official work functions.
He argues that the older women’s experiences and wisdom put them above younger women.
When I point out that older women also tend to have healthy savings accounts and pensions too, he doesn’t deny it, but perseveres with the argument that “sexy seniors” tend to be less inhibited sexually and more grateful.
The other night we had a dreadful row during which he also admitted that granny porn is his favourite when he needs to fire himself up for sex with me.
He’s very defensive. He says that he can’t and won’t explain his tastes.
Apparently, he’s always been the same – always fancied his mates’ mums growing up.
He admits that before me he was with a mature lady, who treated him like a little prince and paid all his bills. He was forced to finish with her because his parents didn’t approve.
He insists that he loves me, but he’s not prepared to lie about who is he and what turns him on.
How am I supposed to respond to that?
JANE SAYS: If your boyfriend is more attracted to older women, that’s who he should be with.
Tell him that he can access as many porn sites and date as many grannies as he likes – as a single man.
He can’t continue to use you in order to keep his parents quiet. Clearly, they have a lot of influence over him.
Is this because they have high expectations or he’s hoping to inherit?
If they’re deeply religious or conventional in their thinking, he needs to explain that he’s an adult with tastes of his own and that’s not about to change any time soon.
I worry that the longer you stay with him, the more your confidence and self-esteem are going to be eroded.
The problem is that you’re not what he’s looking for in a woman and you’re wasting your life by hanging around.
Brush yourself off and get out of there with your head held high.
If you’re simply sticking with him out of habit or you’re worried about life on the other side as a single woman, then break out because this is no way to live.