Is perfect woman really a stalker?
LOVER A BIT TOO INTENSE
MY new girlfriend is attractive, but extremely intense.
It worries me that she knows so much about me. We’ve only been dating for a few weeks, but she’s up to speed with my job, my mates and my whole family.
We go out for a drink and she says “I see your mum and dad’s house is up for sale” or “Your sister in Australia is pregnant again”.
I moan about my boss and poor pay, and she’s not surprised. In fact, she often knows more details about my own life than me, which is disconcerting and annoying.
She says she’s always wanted to be a journalist so did research online and in person before agreeing to go out with me.
Should I be worried she’s obsessive or some kind of stalker?
We work in vaguely the same industry and, admittedly, we do know a lot of the same people, but she can remember things about me from six years ago.
She knows about me getting drunk at a Christmas party and taking my clothes off and having a brief fling with a client (both of which nearly got me the sack).
Two mates claim she’s secretly fancied me for years. One says she used to watch me from afar in our local pub while another swears he saw her following us during a holiday to Spain. Can that be true? She’s funny and intelligent. She’s amazing in bed and I thought I’d found the one.
But now I worry that she has an unhealthy interest in me and may have been observing me all along.
What’s also weird is that she doesn’t seem to have any expartners. Any time I try to quiz her on her former sex life, she changes the subject.
Could I really be her one and only love? Should I just settle back and enjoy the ride. Am I worrying unnecessarily?
JANE SAYS: We’re all flattered by attention and adoration, but you have to trust your instincts.
If this woman already seems to be too intense and too knowing, then are you comfortable being around her? Does this relationship seem balanced and healthy?
Weigh up the pros and cons and keep your wits about you. Could her interest in you be a tad too extreme?
If your new girl likes to do her homework, there was nothing to stop her from checking you out in advance of your first date. It’s always a good idea to know who we’re dealing with. It’s possible she
was hurt or let down in the past, hence her reluctance to open up.
Ask yourself this: Are you happy with your girlfriend on a day-to-day basis? Is she kind, trustworthy and sincere? If she is, take it day by day and see how things go.
But if you feel genuinely anxious or unhappy with her then move on.
If you start to feel that she could be a control freak, then get out. Above all, she needs to know you are an ordinary, normal person with faults of your own. You are not comfortable on any pedestal...