HARRY UP & CRACK A WIN
Double-yolker egg tip
LAST week there was a lot of fuss over what is printed on the back of the new England shirt.
And when I tuned into the match against Brazil I was totally shocked at what I saw on a top. The word MAGUIRE plastered on one of them.
Outrageous. Gareth Southgate is foolish if he thinks his team can win the Euros with Harry in defence.
Talking of fools, I’m combining Easter and April Fool’s Day this year. I’m sending the kids out to look for chocolate eggs I haven’t hidden. That will give me some peace and quiet for a bit on Monday.
I am a fan of this time of year, as is Arnold Schwarzenegger. I saw him eating a chocolate egg and I said: “I bet I know what your favourite Christian festival is.” He said: “Have to love Easter, baby.” It is certainly the best time to borrow money, because it’s Lent. Here’s a top tip for you tomorrow. A chocolate finger makes an ideal “soldier” for a creme egg.
People get annoyed about the shops selling Easter stuff months early. I don’t know why. I’ve just been to a supermarket and they’re selling birthday cakes. It’s not even mine until October.
I left the store as it was closing and after the doors shut I saw a bloke in a giant rabbit suit hopping along the road. He stopped outside and banged on the window, desperate to get in. He was sweating profusely and very angry. I said to a passer-by: “That’s a Hot, Cross Bunny.”
After the international break, there is a feast of football this Easter weekend.
Tuck into this sweet double to resurrect your finances. NOTTINGHAM FOREST to beat Crystal Palace – 5/4
BOURNEMOUTH to beat Everton – 6/5