World of insults
DON’T BE A PLONKER OR YOU’LL RISK..
GEN-Z is officially a bunch of plonkers for phasing out Del Boy’s classic insult.
As we revealed yesterday youngsters don’t think it’s fashionable to use the Only Fools And Horses putdown, preferring to slam each other as “a Karen” or “basic”. Here KIM CARR reveals 15 ways in which people insult each other from around the world…
1 Taking a pop at someone’s parentage is sure to hit a sore spot and in Finland, right, jokes about mothers are as common as here in Blighty, with a popular one being: “Your mother mates with reindeer.”
2 Suggesting that someone’s noggin is as empty as a deflated balloon and that even if someone tried banging some sense into it there would be no difference, Japanese people use the phrase: “Go hit your head on the corner of tofu and die” to refer to a person as an idiot.
3 If you’re in Ireland and someone directs: “You’re as thick as manure and only half as useful” towards you, that is them clearly stating that cow poo has a better purpose.
4 Wind up someone in Serbia and you could be hit with: “May your wife give birth to a centipede so you have to work for shoes all your life.”
5 Clumsy types who find themselves in a muddle in Armenia can be told fruitily: “It’s not pretty watching a jackass trying to eat a pomegranate.”
6 Quite possibly something Mad Vlad endorses actually doing, in Russia if you’re stubborn they say: “You can sharpen an axe on the top of his head.”
7 A Chinese way of calling someone a swear word without actually using it is to say: “Your mother is a big turtle” because turtles give birth alone and their young don’t know their fathers and aren’t monogamous.
8 Suggesting someone is thick as mince in Hungarian they say: “Agyilag zokni” which translates as: “Mentally, you are a sock.”
9 Lightweight drinkers in Berlin, left, can find themselves called a “soft egg”.
10 For most people they’re not the first choice on a restaurant menu so to be told: “You’re as ugly as a salad” is how folks in Bulgaria hit home that they think a person is unattractive.
11 Every office has one, so if you’re caught sucking up to the boss in Malaysia expect to have: “Boon Chon Doi” thrown at you, meaning: “A man who walks behind his boss reaching through his legs and supporting his testicles.”
12 Make a mistake in Sweden and you could be told: “Go and hide under something old.”
13 Hitting someone where it hurts with a personal jibe, those with an egghead in South Africa can expect to be called “Nipple head” as an insult.
14 Pipe down, zip your lip or in
Scotland you could be told: “Haud yer wheesht” instead of “shut up”. And if “yer wee bam” is added that’s an additional “idiot” added for good measure.
15 We have all been reduced to tears chopping the root veg, so in Spain to be told: “You’re so ugly you made an onion cry” is to face an attack on your image.