Daily Star

Don’s party hood-wink

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EVER since Donald Trump coined the phrase “fake news”, it’s his own Republican Party that has been its greatest publisher.

Take this week. According to the leaked audio, Congressma­n Scott Perry, inset, went on a bonkers rant declaring the Ku Klux Klan to be rival Democrats’ very own elite squad. “The KKK in modern times, a lot of young people think somehow it’s a right-wing organisati­on when it is the military wing of the Democratic Party: decidedly, unabashedl­y, racist and antisemiti­c,” Perry said.

Who knew those white hoods came with a blue party membership card?

★★★★★

PENNSYLVAN­IA priest Lawrence Kozak found himself in quite the holy debacle after allegedly funnelling thousands of church dollars into his Apple ID for some high-stakes gaming action.

A criminal complaint and affidavit of probable cause allege that the former pastor at St Thomas More Parish in Pottstown spent more than $214,000 on his Apple ID, just under $44,000 of which was charged to a credit card associated with the parish. Looks like someone took “Thou shalt not steal” as more of a suggestion than a commandmen­t.

★★★★★

CHRISTINE Wilson of Massachuse­tts won $1million on lottery tickets – 10 weeks after her first $1m win.

★★★★★

WHEN builders were working on a grocery store in Midland, Michigan, they unexpected­ly found a woman living inside the rooftop sign.

The 34-year-old, who police nicknamed the Rooftop Ninja, was there for about a year.

Inside her high-rise hideout, she had a mini desk, fancy flooring, a stocked pantry, and even a houseplant to add that homely touch.

★★★★★

IF you want to keep your car from getting nicked in Colorado, buy a manual.

Police in Boulder say the stick shift gearbox, inset, thwarted a suspected thief.

“It turns out the woman had just been released from jail after stealing a car the day prior, and as she walked about half a mile down the road, she looked inside the truck, saw the keys, got inside and drove off. Sort of,” local police said.

“When she couldn’t figure out how to drive the truck’s manual transmissi­on, she jumped out and tried to leave the area on foot. The truck then crashed into a hydrant.”

AND FINALLY...

HILARITY down the puppy park last week when tempers exploded over the upcoming US election. The small contingent of Donald Trump’s supporters were their usual boisterous selves before one was told: “If you were any more inbred, you’d be a sandwich.”

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