THE BED IS ONLY FOR SLEEP
NOT being able to sleep can be a waking nightmare – and it’s a problem that commonly blights the lives of more women than men. Research suggests that from adolescence to their early-50s, for every two men with insomnia there are three women, and around 11% of women have chronic, unremitting insomnia.
Behavioural sleep expert
Dr Shelby Harris (drshelbyharris. com) is determined to help. The New York-based specialist, who treats a wide range of sleep disorders, has just written The Women’s Guide To Overcoming Insomnia, and says the fact this sleep problem is more common among women is not a coincidence.
“Insomnia is not gender-blind. Women, unlike men, are susceptible to significant hormonal fluctuations throughout the lifespan – from pre-adolescence through menopause,” explains Dr Harris. “When combined with the stress of work, family and trying to fit everything in at once, it should be no surprise that women struggle with turning off their brains to obtain a solid, quality night of sleep on a regular basis.”
She says one of the most effective treatments for insomnia is stimulus control, in which the body and mind are trained that the bed is only for sleep and sex, thus helping to gradually shift the active brain into a quieter state when it gets into bed.
Curious to learn more? Here, Dr Harris shares five stimulus control methods to help you get a consistently good night’s sleep...
GO TO BED ONLY WHEN SLEEPY
WHEN we have trouble with sleep, we get into bed hoping sleep is an on/off switch. Instead, we typically stay there, tossing and turning (or staying still, watching TV, reading, etc) and wait for sleep to come.
This teaches the body that the bed is a place for forcing sleep to happen, even if not sleepy.
Instead, if you’re sufficiently sleepy – not just tired but actually sleepy (yawning, can’t keep your eyes open), you’ll fall asleep much faster, night after night.
Don’t force it, get into bed when you’re sleepy, not when you ‘think’ it’s the right – or ‘normal’ time to get to bed.
Dr Shelby Harris is on a mission to help women get better quality sleep. Here she shares her tops tips with
MANY people find they’re sleepy on the couch before bed, but once they get into bed their brains wake up and sleep won’t come. This is because the more that people have insomnia, the more they spend time in bed awake, trying to force sleep to happen – or even just lying in bed tossing and turning or watching TV.
The more you pair the bed with awake activities, the more your body thinks the bed isn’t just for sleep but is also for wake.
If you only use the bed for sleep and sex, your body begins to re-learn that those are the activities allowed in bed.
To do this, get in bed when you’re sleepy. Don’t look at the clock – it only serves to worsen your sleep.
If you feel your brain is too active you begin to get frustrated, or you approximate that 20 minutes have passed (don’t be exact here as that leads to clockwatching), get up and sit in a different room. Do something quiet, calm and relaxing in dim light (eg. reading a book, puzzles, art – avoid screens as that can wake you up more).
Return to bed only when you’re sleepy.
If you get in bed and can’t fall back
Sleep expert Dr Shelby Harris has written a book to help women get a proper night’s rest
to sleep, get up again after approximately 20 minutes and repeat. You might have to do this a bunch of times at night for a few weeks – but eventually, your body will hopefully learn that the bed is only for sleep and sex.
Remember, getting out of bed isn’t meant to make you sleepy. Don’t expect reading to automatically be a sedative. It’s solely meant to be a placeholder so you aren’t in bed tossing and turning. fallen asleep within 10 minutes, you fooled yourself. Go back and follow instruction number two.