The freedom of Letting go
LA photographer Lauren Naylor reveals why she shoots nude self-portraits
When you think of the term ‘selfportrait’ in this modern age of social media, virtual identity and imagery overload, you might question the level of artistic motivation. I myself have been countlessly guilty of judging a person based on the images they decide to share of themselves with the world. It can come off as egotistical, narcissistic, and in the case of nudes, sexual. Of course, there are plenty of instances where one or all of these ideas can hold some truth. But only after taking photos of myself did I understand that not all self-portraits today are conceited.
I say today because I remember the great fine art self-portrait photographers from history that need to be mentioned. Pioneers like Claude Cahun, Man Ray and Cindy Sherman broke conventional boundaries with self-portraiture by questioning identity and using their bodies as vessels for abstraction.
So what is the difference between today’s idea of self-portraiture versus the golden age of these photographers? In some cases, we are no longer challenging identity – but clutching onto one. In the opposite case, we are actually doing the same exact thing as these photography pioneers. We are letting go of ourselves and what defines us as an individual – and I think it’s absolutely beautiful that this idea is staying alive.
Looking back on years ago when I started taking nude portraits of myself, I can remember feeling scared of the future, unsure of who I was, and the desire to find out. At first, it’s as if documenting myself in this way helped my internal discovery, and it aided my pain and fears. I can look back at a self-portrait from six years ago and remember exactly how I felt in that present moment. As fascinating as that is, it took more time photographing myself to discover the real beauty in it.
As time progressed, being in front of the camera (usually in nature) became less of an examination of the defined self, but of the undefined. I found
I was letting ‘myself’ go, to be whatever it wanted to be at that moment. As clichéd as it is, there is so much freedom in letting go of yourself – including fear, which is essentially anxiety about the future. I still struggle with anxious thoughts from time to time because of how complicated life can be. But when I’m documenting my exploration of identity, the future doesn’t exist, and neither does fear.