Mother’s Day can be a difficult day for many

Last Sunday was Mother’s Day or Mothering Sunday as it is also known.

Mothering Sunday began as a religious festival, observed on the fourth Sunday in Lent. The origins of Mothering Sunday lie in the Middle Ages, when children who had left their families to work in domestic service were allowed to go to their home – or “mother” – church.

So initially, the “mothering” aspect of the occasion had no connection to the way mothers are celebrated today. However, the journey home inevitably became an occasion for families to reunite, with the custom developing for children to pick flowers on the way to give as a gift to their mothers.

The date took on a further celebratory air because it was traditionally an occasion for the fasting rules of Lent to be relaxed, allowing families to get together and enjoy some good food. Yet, it was originally all about church, centring around a visit to the mother church.

The fact that most people now refer to the date as Mother’s Day is due to the American influence. In 1907, Mother’s Day was created by an American woman called Anna Jarvis, who held a memorial service for her mother Ann Jarvis, a peace activist who treated wounded soldiers in the American Civil War. Her daughter campaigned for a day to honour the role played by mothers following Ann’s death, and the idea gained such traction that by 1911 all US states observed the holiday.

By 1920, Hallmark were producing the first Mother’s Day cards, and the commercialisation of the day really took hold. Ironically, Anna Jarvis deeply resented the materialistic side of the holiday that she had created.

She was even arrested for protesting against organisations selling Mother’s Day merchandise. I can only wonder what she would make of the commercialisation we see now.

I’ve always struggled a bit with Mother’s Day. When I began teaching in the mid-80s, I was always aware of the fact that children were often being brought up in different kinds of families, and not just a mum/dad/children situation.

What was true then, is also true now. Family relationships can be complex, and it is great to see that reflected in the cards on sale in our shops.

There are cards for mothers, stepmothers, someone who is like a mother; they reflect individual situations, and that’s great to see.

I’m in a fortunate position in that I’ve still got a mother, I am a mother, I’m even a grandmother now.

Yet, I am acutely aware that not everyone is in that situation and it’s not always by choice. I know people who would have loved to be a mother but weren’t able to have children.

I know people who have lost or been estranged from children.

There are also many people who for whatever reason do not have good relationships with the person who gave birth to them.

While it is good to give thanks for mothers, let us be mindful of the folks for whom Sunday was a difficult day.