Preserving a brother’s legacy
PLAY FOLLOWS AFGHAN FAMILY’S JOURNEY TO UK FOR THEIR SIBLING’S LIFE-SAVING TREATMENT
WHEN the Taliban placed an execution order on their mother, the Amiri family of three boys and their parents had no choice but to flee the country.
For Hamed and Hessam, leaving Afghanistan was the start of a perilous journey across Russia and Europe, at the mercy of smugglers in the hope to arrive in the UK to not only protect their mother but also save the life of their older brother Hussein, who required surgery for a lifethreatening heart condition.
Hamed and Hessam channelled their experiences to write the book The Boy With Two Hearts, which was adapted into a play at the Wales Millennium Centre last year and will be staged at the National Theatre from October.
The pair revealed their mother’s determination in standing up to the Taliban in 2000 was because of her desire for her sons not to live in the same Afghanistan she had grown up in. “Mum always wanted a daughter, but ended up with three boys, so through them she wanted to help girls, for them to have a fair and an equal chance,” said Hamed.
“But, over the years, even though she told them (girls) to dream big and chase their dreams, it did not happen and that frustrated her over and over.
“She could also see how home was for us in Afghanistan and she didn’t want us to grow up in the same environment either, which led her to stand up and speak up. She said what was on her mind, and [did this] also for others. She wasn’t harsh or aggressive; it was about equality – that everyone should have the same chance; that kids – boys or girls – should have a fair chance of education and become whatever they want to become.”
Soon after the boys’ mother had spoken up at the local school, word reached the family that the Taliban had placed an execution order on Fariba Amiri. They had only a few days to flee the country.
While they had planned to leave in the future in order to save the life of Hussein, who was told the only way he would survive was to go to the UK or US for lifesaving heart surgery, the rush in escaping Afghanistan led to a dangerous 18-month journey, which eventually led to Wales.
Hessam was only six years old when the family fled Afghanistan. He conceded what they experienced left the family with mental health trauma, with their father Muhammed suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).
“We went through several eastern European countries. We spent six months in Russia. Then Ukraine, Austria, Germany, Belgium, Holland and obviously, France,” Hessam recalled.
“There were probably other countries we didn’t know the names of; back in those days, it was just another country that we just had to cross to reach our destination. It wasn’t always straightforward. We went back and forth with many different countries because of failed attempts across the way.”
Hamed added: “We travelled in hidden compartments in cars and lorries on multiple occasions. There was an attempt to jump on a train in France, where it was supposed to slow down and we are supposed to jump on like a crazy scene in a movie, but we got caught. We attempted again in the back at a container in a lorry.
“When Hessam threw up, we almost passed out due to lack of oxygen.”
The family’s journey saw them stay in apartments, barns, a pit inside of a motorway and the back of a lorry before they eventually arrived in Margate, Kent.
Hessam said it was the only time he “felt safe” because it was for the first time in a long time he had had three meals in a day. “It was great to have a proper meal because I’m pretty sure it must have been a long time that we all had something nutritious,” he said.
“This is the UK; you’re almost like ‘okay, we’re not going to get up and go to another country’, and we are officially here as Hessam and Hamed and not the people hiding away from police. “We were official migrants who were legal; it was a relief. But we were still nervy because we were so close to the border and you’ll always feel like what if they just send you back.
“We only truly felt safe when we came
to Cardiff, and thought, ‘okay, we’ve officially got a registered place to be and to live in our own beds and not a hotel.’”
Hamed added: “Looking back now, if someone paid me a billion pounds, I would never do that again. We were so fortunate. There were so many occasions that another few hours, another day or a different direction, we wouldn’t have been here today, wouldn’t have made it; it’s as simple as that.”
With the family now safe in Cardiff, they could turn their full attention to Hussein. The eldest of the Amiri boys was born with a congenital heart defect. He had two operations in Afghanistan at six months and at six years old. His mobility began to suffer as he grew, and in 2006 he had another operation in Southampton.
Despite his illness, Hussein completed his degree, started an IT company with his best friend and became a governor for NHS Bristol and NHS Cardiff.
However, in spite of his efforts to live a full life, his heart was still giving him issues. “On multiple occasions, they had to restart his heart by physically shocking him and I think he knew, and we knew, that somewhere along the way he would need a heart transplant,” said Hamed.
After numerous visits to heart transplant specialists in Newcastle, Hussein was told he would need both a heart and liver transplant, but the chances of success were four to 12 per cent. Hussein’s consultant in Cardiff said the ‘risks were too high’ and he should manage his condition as long as he could with medication.
Hussein later told his brothers that he didn’t want to have the operation. In 2018, aged 31, Hussein died. “I think he knew that transplant wasn’t going to save his life and that’s why he had a will written and had his affairs in order,” said Hamed. “He knew even though the doctors hadn’t given him a time period. This is where religion comes into play. I remember a religious person telling me those who have a pure heart have an inkling their time is up, which is why they get their affairs in order.
“And I genuinely believe that my brother was one of those people.”
Hamed said the death of his brother “broke the family”.
“When you go through a journey like we did, you become a close-knit family; we’re each other’s rock,” he said.
Hessam added: “The pain my parents must have felt losing their older son... after all those operations and all that they experienced, I’m sure during the last few weeks they thought, ‘this is going to be another thing we will go through and in a year or two he’ll be fine’.
“I don’t think you’ll ever fully recover after a family member passes away. You learn how to deal with it a bit better, or hide your emotions better.”
The desire to preserve their brother’s legacy led them to write The Boy With Two Hearts. Hamed said, “He left a void that just couldn’t be filled. We thought about how we could keep alive his memory, his personality, who he was and how he lived his life – because he helped so many strangers, emotionally, financially, and just by being there for people. That led to The Boy With Two Hearts.”
The pair, one of whom works in marketing and the other in IT, had not written anything before. So how did they write a book in just three months which, when it was published, was named BBC Radio 4’s Book of the Week.
Hessam said, “I had this energy I just needed to get out of my chest. I knew it was part of the grieving process. I had never written before, but when you open up and it comes from within, and it’s led by your heart, people can resonate with it.
For their parents, writing the book started as a difficult process, but it became a cathartic experience once they remembered the happy moments of Hussein’s life. They watched the play at the Wales Millennium Centre. “They both laughed and cried,” said Hamed. “It was harder for mum to sit through it. But, afterwards, she met the actors. We all got emotional and cried – the first time they met, mum and the lady who played mum, they hugged and they cried for a few minutes. It was just beautiful to see.”
With the book, and now two stage adaptations, Hamed and Hessam have set their sights on a TV series or film, which could lead to a worldwide audience learning about the The Boy With Two Hearts. But what does The Boy With Two Hearts actually mean? “We were trying to describe our older brother, and how no matter how hard life was, no matter how much he struggled, he stood up against it. He always smiled. He hid his condition because he didn’t want that to define him. So the metaphor is, he had a faulty heart, but he had the will and the heart to go on, which to me was the reference for the boy with two hearts,” said Hamed.
■ The Boy with Two Hearts can be seen at the National Theatre from next Saturday (1) to November 12. Visit www.nationaltheatre.org.uk