Ed­i­tor’s let­ter

EDP Norfolk - - Editor's Letter - DO­MINIC CAS­TLE, Ed­i­tor, EDP Nor­folk Mag­a­zine 01603 772758/07725 201153, do­minic.cas­[email protected]

One of the things you never, ever see in glossy hol­i­day ads or TV pro­mos for lovely hot coun­tries are the bugs. No strapline or voiceover ever says: “Come to our trop­i­cal is­land par­adise, bask un­der our sun­shine on white beaches and en­joy our fab­u­lous lo­cal cui­sine. Oh, and make sure you pack some se­ri­ous fly re­pel­lent be­cause, man, those crit­ters nip.”

Now I fully un­der­stand why, and mar­ket­ing does what mar­ket­ing does, but there could be a warn­ing in the small print at least. The present Mrs Cas­tle and I have re­cently re­turned from a week or so in Mon­tene­gro, a lit­tle dot of a place on the Adri­atic coast which seems per­ma­nently on the fringes of be­ing the Next Big Des­ti­na­tion.

It was lovely. The en­tire coun­try is cor­ru­gated with steep moun­tains (though con­se­quently has smaller and less im­pres­sive skies than Nor­folk) and the coast­line has deep clear waters. It has a pass­able red wine, de­cent beer and ex­cel­lent fish and does not seem to lift the leg of the tourist by over­charg­ing them for ev­ery­thing in sight.

And it has ex­u­ber­antly ra­pa­cious bugs. Even in late May we were punc­tured on pretty much every vis­i­ble part of skin, red lumps ev­ery­where, like an­gry Braille. If you could read Braille it would say some­thing like ‘please stop bit­ing me.’

To be fair, our own in­dige­nous Nor­folk crea­tures could hold their own if it came to a bite-off with other in­sects of the world. Within days of our re­turn the lo­cals moved in, find­ing a few gaps and hav­ing a bit of a nib­ble. I seem to be more prone than Mrs C – I say it is be­cause I have sweet blood but she has some other dull ex­pla­na­tion in­volv­ing pheromones and stuff.

But some­how we minded less. It’s dif­fer­ent when they’re your own, isn’t it?

It is very much the sea­son of the sum­mer ball and the smart din­ner and we have had a cou­ple of last-minute in­vi­ta­tions to posh county do’s (of course we were go­ing to in­vite you - can’t think what hap­pened!) which is fun.

It has also re­vealed some­thing of a knowl­edge gap on the do­mes­tic en­gi­neer­ing front. In short, Mrs C does not know how the iron works.

Some­how, over the years, she has skil­fully ac­cu­mu­lated a wardrobe in which no item ever needs press­ing. I’m sure you’ll agree that is im­pres­sive.

But now the panic-bought last­minute.com new evening wear needs iron­ing. I think press­ing a frock in ex­change for not be­ing the des­ig­nated driver is a fair trade, don’t you?

Mon­tene­gro. Lovely. Not in shot; bugs

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.