I AM MADEMOISELLE

This month, our in­trepid colum­nist goes in search of some­thing deeper – and finds it in the un­likely shape of quartz crys­tals

ELLE (UK) - - Contents -

This month, our colum­nist ex­plores the restora­tive power of crys­tals

One bright morn­ing this sum­mer, I show­ered, dressed, and drank a shit-load of over­priced cof­fee on my way to the tube. Then, in the midst of this mid­week nor­mal­ity, some­thing ex­traor­di­nary hap­pened: I walked into Emma Can­non’s of­fice, an acupunc­tur­ist and fer­til­ity spe­cial­ist, for the mother of all Mademoiselle beauty ap­point­ments. Not preg­nant, nor hop­ing to be, I came look­ing for some­thing deeper than a ‘won­der’ cream to slather over my face; some­thing more nour­ish­ing than a quick prick of Bo­tox. With ‘over­whelmed’ etched across my fore­head, fa­cial mus­cles aching from grit­ted teeth, stress, Lon­don, hav­ing young kids – it had all fi­nally be­gun to take its toll.

Lo­cated just off Lon­don’s King’s Road, Can­non’s clinic is warm and wel­com­ing. I’m here for a ‘crys­tal bed’ ap­point­ment, which I know sounds ter­ri­bly LA, but bear with me. On the way here, I imag­ined my­self ly­ing atop a bed of pale pink crys­tals, wear­ing a Ver­sace head­scarf. But af­ter a 30-minute chat, in­stead of dan­gling Ti­betan bells from my nip­ples and don­ning a gi­ant dream­catcher neck­lace, Can­non di­rects me be­hind a white cur­tain, where I’m asked to lie on a re­as­sur­ingly nor­mal-look­ing mas­sage ta­ble. Di­rectly be­side me stands a tall, seem­ingly in­nocu­ous light with a long arm. As Can­non ma­noeu­vres the arm over the cen­tre of my body, I look up to see seven ex­tremely clear Vo­gel-cut crys­tals sus­pended about 12 inches above each of my seven main chakras. ‘Each crys­tal is cut to a spe­cific fre­quency, to ra­di­ate light and en­ergy into the body’s en­ergy field,’ says Can­non, as I eye the light sus­pi­ciously. And af­ter­wards? ‘Each chakra is cleansed, en­er­gised and brought into bal­ance, re­turn­ing the body to nor­mal func­tion.’ Here’s hop­ing…

Af­ter watch­ing Can­non’s TEDx talk on bar­ren think­ing ver­sus fer­tile think­ing – as in life is never enough vs be­liev­ing in abun­dance – I re­alise I am stuck in a moun­tain­sized neg­a­tiv­ity rut that’s be­gin­ning to show on my face. Can­non, who just launched her 90 Days Fer­tile pro­gramme, an on­line course that looks at all as­pects of a woman’s life, be­lieves en­vi­ron­men­tal fac­tors, such as how we treat the planet, can have a deeply neg­a­tive im­pact on our bod­ies. Can­non, with her deep soul­ful eyes, tells me she’s ‘very much pro-science’ (medicine helped her re­cover from breast can­cer) but that some things ‘just can’t be ex­plained, like spirit’. Or why I’m in Chelsea, ly­ing be­neath sev­eral crys­tals that could pass as Christ­mas-tree lights?

‘Plants, food, peo­ple, we’re all en­ergy,’ smiles Can­non, as she switches on the crys­tal bed (which re­minds me of a mo­bile disco) be­fore plac­ing a small, laven­der-scented cush­ion over my eyes. I know ‘we are all en­ergy’ to be an ac­cepted the­ory in quan­tum physics, but how to ex­plain chakras? ‘Acupunc­ture ma­nip­u­lates and redi­rects en­ergy in the body; in Chi­nese medicine, it’s called qi [pro­nounced chi]. En­ergy is our life force,’ says Can­non. That may ex­plain why, in 1994, sci­en­tists ac­knowl­edged the pres­ence of a hu­man biofield, aka a ‘mea­sur­able elec­tro­mag­netic en­ergy’. Some be­lieve this to be our aura.

Lay­ing be­neath the crys­tals, my right ovary be­gins to twitch. Af­ter five min­utes, there’s a heavy feel­ing on my chest, as if some­one small is ly­ing on top of it. I drift. A baby – a girl – lays peace­fully still be­neath my chin. My heart be­gins to flood with love for her and a feel­ing of bliss washes over my body. The baby goes, and now my throat feels hot. The words ‘speak your truth’ float through my mind. Af­ter 20 min­utes, Can­non re­moves the cush­ion from my eyes and switches off the disco crys­tals; I feel like I’ve been out for hours. ‘Are you plan­ning a third child?’ she asks when I tell her what hap­pened. ‘No,’ I re­ply, ‘maybe she just came to say hello?’ Or maybe she be­longs to the woman ly­ing next door, who, like so many of Can­non’s clients, is here hav­ing acupunc­ture be­fore em­bark­ing on a round of IVF. I whis­per a lit­tle prayer, hop­ing the baby is com­ing her way – as op­posed to mine.

Rested, and with a feel­ing of be­ing mag­i­cally re­paired, I won­der if the need for reg­u­lar cleans­ing ap­plies to our en­ergy fields as well as our faces? I head to the tube with Can­non’s ‘abun­dant think­ing ver­sus be­liev­ing life to be bar­ren’ mantra tum­bling through my mind. She’s right: life is never per­fect, so let’s try to ap­pre­ci­ate what we have to­day, with­out wor­ry­ing about to­mor­row. With each step I take, I count my bless­ings. Then I count them again.

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