I AM MADEMOISELLE

This month, our intrepid columnist goes in search of something deeper – and finds it in the unlikely shape of quartz crystals

This month, our columnist explores the restorative power of crystals

One bright morning this summer, I showered, dressed, and drank a shit-load of overpriced coffee on my way to the tube. Then, in the midst of this midweek normality, something extraordinary happened: I walked into Emma Cannon’s office, an acupuncturist and fertility specialist, for the mother of all Mademoiselle beauty appointments. Not pregnant, nor hoping to be, I came looking for something deeper than a ‘wonder’ cream to slather over my face; something more nourishing than a quick prick of Botox. With ‘overwhelmed’ etched across my forehead, facial muscles aching from gritted teeth, stress, London, having young kids – it had all finally begun to take its toll.

Located just off London’s King’s Road, Cannon’s clinic is warm and welcoming. I’m here for a ‘crystal bed’ appointment, which I know sounds terribly LA, but bear with me. On the way here, I imagined myself lying atop a bed of pale pink crystals, wearing a Versace headscarf. But after a 30-minute chat, instead of dangling Tibetan bells from my nipples and donning a giant dreamcatcher necklace, Cannon directs me behind a white curtain, where I’m asked to lie on a reassuringly normal-looking massage table. Directly beside me stands a tall, seemingly innocuous light with a long arm. As Cannon manoeuvres the arm over the centre of my body, I look up to see seven extremely clear Vogel-cut crystals suspended about 12 inches above each of my seven main chakras. ‘Each crystal is cut to a specific frequency, to radiate light and energy into the body’s energy field,’ says Cannon, as I eye the light suspiciously. And afterwards? ‘Each chakra is cleansed, energised and brought into balance, returning the body to normal function.’ Here’s hoping…

After watching Cannon’s TEDx talk on barren thinking versus fertile thinking – as in life is never enough vs believing in abundance – I realise I am stuck in a mountainsized negativity rut that’s beginning to show on my face. Cannon, who just launched her 90 Days Fertile programme, an online course that looks at all aspects of a woman’s life, believes environmental factors, such as how we treat the planet, can have a deeply negative impact on our bodies. Cannon, with her deep soulful eyes, tells me she’s ‘very much pro-science’ (medicine helped her recover from breast cancer) but that some things ‘just can’t be explained, like spirit’. Or why I’m in Chelsea, lying beneath several crystals that could pass as Christmas-tree lights?

‘Plants, food, people, we’re all energy,’ smiles Cannon, as she switches on the crystal bed (which reminds me of a mobile disco) before placing a small, lavender-scented cushion over my eyes. I know ‘we are all energy’ to be an accepted theory in quantum physics, but how to explain chakras? ‘Acupuncture manipulates and redirects energy in the body; in Chinese medicine, it’s called qi [pronounced chi]. Energy is our life force,’ says Cannon. That may explain why, in 1994, scientists acknowledged the presence of a human biofield, aka a ‘measurable electromagnetic energy’. Some believe this to be our aura.

Laying beneath the crystals, my right ovary begins to twitch. After five minutes, there’s a heavy feeling on my chest, as if someone small is lying on top of it. I drift. A baby – a girl – lays peacefully still beneath my chin. My heart begins to flood with love for her and a feeling of bliss washes over my body. The baby goes, and now my throat feels hot. The words ‘speak your truth’ float through my mind. After 20 minutes, Cannon removes the cushion from my eyes and switches off the disco crystals; I feel like I’ve been out for hours. ‘Are you planning a third child?’ she asks when I tell her what happened. ‘No,’ I reply, ‘maybe she just came to say hello?’ Or maybe she belongs to the woman lying next door, who, like so many of Cannon’s clients, is here having acupuncture before embarking on a round of IVF. I whisper a little prayer, hoping the baby is coming her way – as opposed to mine.

Rested, and with a feeling of being magically repaired, I wonder if the need for regular cleansing applies to our energy fields as well as our faces? I head to the tube with Cannon’s ‘abundant thinking versus believing life to be barren’ mantra tumbling through my mind. She’s right: life is never perfect, so let’s try to appreciate what we have today, without worrying about tomorrow. With each step I take, I count my blessings. Then I count them again.