CHRISSYS ’ GREATEST TWEETS

ON GIVING BIRTH: ‘No one told me I would be coming home in diapers, too’ ON HER HUSBAND: ‘I always have a note in my pocket that says, “John did it”, in case I’m murdered,

because I don’t want him to remarry’

ON DRINKING: ‘Cucumber vodka makes you feel like you’re at a spa being healthy, when you are really just being another fuckin’ drunk at a sad bar’ ON BREAKFAST: ‘I have come to realise that, at some point in the day, I will order and consume a pizza, so it

might as well be in the morning’ ON PIERS MORGAN: ‘My newborn just looked up at me and said, “Mommy, why is Piers Morgan so

unequivocally douchy?” I didn’t know what to say’