THE RANKING
Four Empire writers rate 007’s movies, from 001 to 0010
The franchise is Bond. James Bond.
Chris: When did we first get introduced to Bond?
John: I went to A View To A Kill and laughed all the way through it. I was eight years old and thought it was the best film I’ve ever seen. I still adore it. It’s basically one of those late-’70s Hammer comedies like Rising Damp or On The Buses.
Chris: Does Chris Walken say, “I’ll get you, Butler,” at any point?
Neil: Yes. Mine was The Living Daylights. That was a formative experience for me. I love Timothy Dalton. I wonder if maybe because he was my first cinematic Bond. Ian: This ages me, but my first one was Live And Let Die on holiday in the Isle Of Wight.
John: Is that the full title?
Ian: I was six years old and I was such a wimp. I had nightmares over Baron Samedi laughing at the end.
Chris: Most people do.
Ian: Shat myself. I also loved the stuff around Bond. So, Corgi Cars, and I liked Geoff Love & His Orchestra — Big Bond Movie Themes. That’s rotten. If you ever go back to that, it’s dreadful.
John: I quite like it.
Neil: I bought it, listened to it once, and back to the charity shop it went.
Chris: What was it about Bond that kept us coming back?
Ian: I think it does the things that movies do. It’s exciting, it’s full of great set-pieces, it’s huge, it’s a little boy’s fantasy. When you’re six or seven years old, it’s just the best thing, isn’t it?
John: I think it’s the same thing that makes people see Marvel films now. It’s escapism, it’s heroism, it’s doing things you can’t do.
Chris: What about Bond himself? Is he an appeal?
Neil: Bond himself is super cool. He’s the pinnacle of cool when you’re a kid. Some of us still hold onto that. Chris: It doesn’t get much cooler than Pierce Brosnan, does it?
Neil: Pierce Brosnan was genetically engineered to please every Bond fan. He’s got a bit of Connery, he’s got a bit of Lazenby, and a bit of Moore in him. Not much Dalton, to be fair. He knew it and he played on it. He’s probably the coolest.
Chris: He’s got the best hair of any Bond. John: For one film. Goldeneye. Then he had his hair cut off and after that he never looked as good, I think.
Ian: How do we feel Brosnan did with the drama? He’s quite light and suave, but what about the tough moments?
Neil: Brosnan has a moment at the beginning of The World Is Not Enough where he shoots a banker, that’s how
I like to remember Brosnan’s Bond. I like them when they’re horrible.
Ian: Even Moore has tough moments. He kicks the car off the cliff in For Your Eyes Only. But sometimes you feel that these scenes are written for another Bond.
The Living Daylights’ cello case chase is absolutely written for Roger Moore and not at all for Timothy Dalton.
John: Absolutely. And then Dalton can’t really pull off the jokes. They crawl out of his mouth like dead worms.
Ian: For me that’s why he’s the worst Bond.
Everyone: HOLY SHIT.
Chris: For me he’s the best Bond and it’s a shame he only had two goes at the role. I really like Licence To Kill.
John: It’s such an anomaly. It was shot in Mexico, Michael Kamen does the music, it feels really alien. And it’s very dark.
Neil: It jumps out of the restrictive formula that they’d set for themselves.
Ian: For me, Sean Connery was the best. He invented it, delivers everything you want: panache, wit, he can be funny when he needs to be. He does it all. Good hair. Good walk. He can run. He can punch.
Neil: I think Connery hit a peak in Goldfinger. You see this in every actor’s third Bond film. They’ve relaxed into it and found their groove.
Chris: Dalton never got the chance.
Ian: Good.
Neil: He glides through Goldfinger. By You Only Live Twice and Diamonds Are Forever, he’s waddling, rather than gliding. I just think he’s a little overrated. Chris: Let’s move on to Lazenby. One-and-done Lazenby.
Ian: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is a great film.
Neil: Undoubtedly.
Chris: I do doubt. I’m not a fan.
Ian: He sells the end of it, which is tough.
John: I always want to plant a flag that says, “He was a male model!” And he pulled it off. The end makes you well up.
Chris: It’s always left me a bit cold, that film. I’ve given it a lot of chances, but it feels a bit long and dull.
Neil: Incorrect.
Chris: Moore, then.
Neil: I love Roger Moore, but I do think he might be the worst James Bond.
Chris: That was a turn.
Neil: Most of the time they’re not Bond films, they’re comedy spy films. There’s not a lot of Fleming in there.
Ian: For me, his high point is The Spy Who Loved Me. Terrific.
Chris: Third film.
Neil: The theory stands up.
Chris: It’s got a great villain, great gadgets, a great Bond girl, who actually has something to do for once, and one of the best Bond themes.
John: I think The Spy Who Loved Me is the best Bond film.
Neil: It’s up there.
John: A lot of that is due to him. But he should have gone after Moonraker.
Chris: And Craig?
Ian: Casino Royale is terrific. That’s his best one. There’s a middle hour just set in the casino which feels really Bondian.
Neil: The whole structure is interesting. It’s frontloaded with two huge set-pieces, and then you have that hour-long card game in the middle.
John: I like it until Le Chiffre dies and then it’s pretty poor.
Neil: It throws in a few more unnecessarily huge exploding buildings.
Chris: We’re 24 films in. Is it controversial to say that there isn’t a great film in that number?
Neil: I think Goldfinger is a great piece of cinema. It’s perfectly crafted. It’s not art, but it’s great cinema.
Ian: Is there a brilliant piece of filmmaking? I don’t think there is.
Neil: Probably not.
Chris: Why are we here then?
Neil: Shall we go?
Chris: Right, enough squabbling. Let’s vote!
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