Have yourself a movie little Christmas
Empire’s Chris hewitt and helen O’hara plan your Christmas Day viewing, with a little help from sky Cinema
Are you seeking inspiration for your Christmas Day viewing? Look no further. Empire’s Chris and Helen got together to run their eye over the Christmas movies available on sky Cinema, and compile the ultimate Christmas Day viewing guide. Those arguments about what to watch after the Queen’s speech just became a thing of the past.
Chris: so, Helen, as Andy Williams is always keen to remind us, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas. if you’re anything like me, you’ll want nothing more than to spend your Christmas Day in front of the telly, watching a bunch of great movies. This is where sky Cinema comes in. Helen: Movies are absolutely essential on Christmas Day; the celebration doesn’t officially start until i have watched It’s A Wonderful Life (usually on Christmas eve), opened my stocking (gold coins and a baby orange) and planned a line-up of the best movies. People who ban television on Christmas Day should, in my opinion, get a grip. The best way to keep the family happy is to watch excellent, heartwarming films together.
Chris: so, speaking of a line-up of the best movies: how should the dream Christmas Day begin? you go first. Are you starting with It’s A Wonderful Life?
Helen: Honestly, i prefer to watch that the night before. i’m going to start with something fun, energetic and joyous. it’s gotta be the definitive adaptation of the greatest Christmas story in literary history: The Muppet Christmas Carol.
Look, an all-singing chorus of rats, frogs and pigs is what Dickens would have wanted.
Chris: Love that film. good choice. For my money, and i know there’s a lot of love for
Scrooged, it’s the best movie adaptation of
A Christmas Carol. yes, even including the one with Alastair sim. For me, you need to follow up something that sweet with something a bit more acerbic. Which is why i’m going to throw
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation onto the pile. The best ‘Vacation’ movie by miles, it’s hilarious, with great set-pieces, and shows Chevy Chase at his best, whether he’s being smacked in the face with a plank, or delivering one of cinema’s all-time great unhinged rants.
Helen: He just wants to give his family a good Christmas, dammit. For all its swearing and chaos, that film breaks my heart a little bit. so i’d probably mend it with either Sleepless In Seattle (only slightly a Christmas film, but extremely cheering and comforting) or Miracle On 34th Street. Argue if you will, but while the original version is less yuppie-heavy, absolutely no-one can compare to richard Attenborough’s kris kringle when it comes to movie santa Clauses. not even Tom Hanks himself, in the dead-eyed but otherwise decent Polar Express, comes close.
Chris: i’m going to have to ask you to make a horrible choice. Pick one.
Helen: oh, Miracle then. i can watch Sleepless any day of the year. Any day.
Chris: I’m not a huge fan of either — I know, I’m a Grinch. Or a Scrooge. Or a horrible hybrid of the two. A Grooge? A Scrinch? Anyway, by my reckoning we’re now into the evening. All the presents have been unwrapped. All the food has been eaten. Well, half the food. And now it’s time to edge this up a bit. Enough of this familyfriendly nonsense. Although I am very tempted by Mary Poppins Returns, I’ve gone for ‘Tony Stark Returns’, aka Iron Man 3. Which, Helen, as you know, is a Christmas movie. With jingle bells on.
Helen: You’re a heartless monster, but you’re right on Iron Man 3, of course. Though I will never get over Tony Stark entertaining the idea, for even a moment, that Pepper Potts might want a giant stuffed toy. But I’m going with Mary Poppins Returns in this spot, because the songs are pretty great and I’m going to need a dose of heartwarming before I swerve into the day’s final film.
Chris: I don’t know. Tony has never been known for level-headed decisions. A giant stuffed rabbit with boobs is exactly the kind of thing I think he’d buy, in a last-minute panic. I could suggest that after Iron Man 3, instead of Mary Poppins Returns, you go with the original Mary Poppins, and follow up with the sequel for a lovely double bill that’s practically perfect in every way. But for the final film of the day, I think we’re both going for a spot of the old ultra-violence. Because nothing says Christmas like a barefooted Bruce Willis fighting a bunch of terrorists. Well, exceptional thieves. And since they’re moving up to kidnapping, we should be more polite. Yes, it’s Die Hard.
Helen: Well, I was actually considering Little Monsters, the charming Lupita Nyong’o zombie film, but okay, seeing as it’s Christmas and a time of miracles, let’s go for the mighty Die Hard. It is, after all, the season of peace, where possible, and goodwill towards all men except murderous thieves (however exceptional). And who better sums that up than John Mcclane? Just like Santa, he wears red and white (albeit the blood turns his vest sort of mud-coloured), and he says,
“Ho ho ho.” Man, if this is our Christmas line-up of movies, we gotta be back for New Year. THE CHRISTMAS COLLECTION IS AVAILABLE ON SKY CINEMA FROM 2 NOVEMBER. THESE ARE CHRIS AND HELEN’S PICKS. TO HEAR WHAT HAPPENS WHEN DAVE BERRY AND ALEX ZANE ENTER THE MIX, CHECK OUT THE CHRISTMAS EMPIRE PODCAST, IN ASSOCIATION WITH SKY CINEMA, FROM 31 OCTOBER