House of Gucci
Unfiltered, uncensored, uncompromising trailer reactions from team EMPIRE
John Nugent (News Editor): This is one of two Ridley Scott films out this year. Anyone excited?
Joanna Moran (Photography Director):
I am. James, this is my Dune.
Nick de Semlyen (Deputy Editor): Is anyone currently wearing Gucci in honour of this trailer?
Joanna: I don’t even think I have Gucci make-up.
Chris Lupton (Creative Director): I’m House Of H&M today.
John: So here’s Gaga, serving up some looks.
Chris Lupton: This opening scene looks like Kat Slater on her holidays.
John: Quite like how gaudy and trashy Ridley Scott is going with this one. He’s going all out with a big, brash melodrama.
Chris Lupton: This is Ridley Scott does Ryan Murphy.
Joanna: Exactly — the glamour and the gorgeous people and the murder.
Ben Travis (Deputy Online Editor): Visually, it looks a lot like All The Money In The World — very shadowy; whereas if it was Ryan Murphy, there’d be neon everywhere.
John: Alright. Let’s get into it. Accents. What do we think? How’s Adam Driver’s attempt at Italian?
Nick: I’m... not sure.
James Dyer (Digital Editor-in-chief ): They have gone a bit ‘BBC’S Dracula’ with this.
Chris Hewitt (Re.view Editor): The last time I heard a driver with an Italian accent this bad, I was playing Mario Kart!
Nick: He does have a bit of a Waluigi vibe.
John: Adam Driver is a very, very good actor, but I don’t know that he quite nails the accent.
Joanna: Jared Leto... the transformation is quite extraordinary. He looks like the Penguin.
Nick: He does look like he’s about to deploy exploding penguins at a moment’s notice.
Ben: I think he looks more like Danny Devito in Matilda.
Chris Hewitt: He looks like he’s Leto himself go!
Mike Cathro (Deputy Art Director):
I keep thinking of Jeffrey Tambor.
Chris Lupton: He reminds me of Carrie Bradshaw’s gay mate in Sex And The City.
John: Why is Jared Leto in this role, though? Why didn’t they cast someone who actually looked like the character?
Nick: Apparently the real-life guy he’s playing has condemned it. Called it “horrible”.
Chris Lupton: He’s going to get Oscar-nominated.
Nick: How many of the cast are actually Italian? Pacino and Lady Gaga are Italian-american.
John: I wouldn’t say her accent is the best, though, either.
Nick: We don’t hear Jeremy Irons’ accent.
Joanna: He’s just doing the Marlon Brando in The Godfather thing.
Nick: Is he, like, the King of Gucci? I don’t really know the hierarchy.
John: He’s the head of the family, yep —
I think his scenes will be flashbacks.
Ben: He’s one of the OG Guccis, and it’s his death that sparks the grapple for power.
John: There’s a lot of this — lots of high Italian culture.
Chris Lupton: A lot of lush locations.
John: More of Gaga looking fierce, with big hair.
Chris Lupton: She looks like Joan Collins in
Dynasty. For those old people who get that reference. I want a T-shirt that says, “It’s time to take out the trash.”
Nick: Do we reckon she’s going to win an Oscar for this?
Ben: It would be the total opposite of Frances Mcdormand’s win for Nomadland,
which was really understated.
Joanna: She was shitting in a bucket.
Chris Lupton: The Academy do love a biopic.
Mike: “You picked a real firecracker.” Jared’s really rolling his ‘r’s, there.
Ben: There are about ten ‘r’s there.
John: He’s almost a bit Geordie. You picked a real firecracker, pet.
Mike: Big Spy Who Loved Me vibes here.
John: The first teaser image we saw from this was Driver and Gaga in ‘ski-chic’.
Nick: Oscar-worthy spoon-stirring, there.
Joanna: “Father, son, House of Gucci.” That’s my new catchphrase.
Liz Beardsworth (Production Editor):
It’s amazing.
Nick: I have no idea what’s going on in this trailer, but I want to see it.
Chris Lupton: It looks really pulpy.
Liz: But in a good way.
Chris Lupton: Yeah. Do you think Adam Driver is going to sing into Gaga’s noo-noo?
[Laughter] For those who have not watched
Annette, that was a spoiler.
John: Liz, can I ask a sub-editing question: is ‘noo-noo’ acceptable for print?
Liz: Weirdly, yes it is. The other day, we had ‘foo-foo’, and I wasn’t sure about that.
Nick: Did you have to check with legal?
Liz: No. But I nearly changed it to ‘muff’. HOUSE OF GUCCI IS IN CINEMAS FROM 26 NOVEMBER