How Much Is A Pint Of Milk? Clive Owen

DOES CLIVE KNOW HIS CREAM? THE ACTOR TAKES ON OUR ESOTERIC QUESTIONNAIRE

Do you have an irrational fear?

Not really, but somebody used to post very weird things as if I’d said them — they’d be quotes on the IMDB page, or whatever — and one of them was that I had a phobia of badgers. I’d get asked about them in junkets! “Is it true you’re really scared of badgers?” And I’d go, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” For the record, I’m not afraid of badgers. I think I’m okay.

When were you most starstruck?

Twice in my life. The first time was meeting David Bowie, who I was obsessed with when I was a teenager. I only had David Bowie records. I had everything he’d ever done, including bootlegs. When I was 14 I used to have dreams that he’d come to Coventry, where I’m from, and I’d show him around the place. When I actually met him, I couldn’t speak. It was too much for me. My heart was pounding, I fell apart. The other time is Steven Gerrard. I went to a Champions League game many years ago, a semi-final that Liverpool won, and I was invited to where they were all going to celebrate. The same thing happened: he said hello to me and I could hardly open my mouth. I don’t get starstruck around actors, usually. Only sports people. And David Bowie.

What is your favourite type of crisp?

Ready salted. I’m a crisp fanatic. I haven’t got a sweet tooth, but I can eat a lot of crisps.

How much is a pint of milk?

I have to be honest: I cheated. I Googled it half an hour ago. I would have said a little more, but it’s 90 pence. Interestingly, one of the things that popped up straight away when I Googled “How much is a pint of milk?” is that in May it was 50 pence. So it’s doubled! In just those few months! That’s pretty wild, isn’t it?

Which movie have you seen the most?

Casablanca. It’s a cliché because it’s often voted as the best film, but I think it’s an absolutely perfect movie. And it’s one of those movies that I can watch over and over and over again. The minute I start watching it, it’s like I’m seeing it for the first time. I just did a project playing Sam Spade [in the upcoming drama series Monsieur Spade, about Humphrey Bogart’s character in

The Maltese Falcon]. I’m the patron of a cinema in Harwich, Essex, which is one of the oldest cinemas in the country. They’ve been closed for a couple of years because of Covid and some renovation work they had to do. We reopened with a double bill of The Maltese Falcon and

Casablanca. So I was in heaven, in a cinema that was built in 1911.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?

The first year after I left drama school, before I landed my first acting job, I cleaned people’s houses for a while. There was an agency that used to hire a lot of out-of-work actors. It was easy money. I was not a great cleaner.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?

Hmm. I can give you the worst advice I’ve ever been given? A casting director said to me, “Just remember, Clive, acting is all about likeability. When you’re doing scenes, just be likeable.” [Clive pulls a face that says he is deeply unconvinced.]

What is the worst smell in the world? Durian fruit. It’s a fruit that is notoriously foul-smelling. People eat it, but it has an unbelievably bad smell. It’s foul, it’s like rotting… something. I was doing a film many, many years ago in Thailand when I discovered this. And then somebody, as a prank, cut one in half and hid it in the room I was staying in. It took me ages to find it and get it out of the room, but I had to — I couldn’t have slept in there. It was that strong. [Empire’s invitation to publicly out this prankster is rebuffed] Oh, no. They know who they are.

Do you have any scars?

Two. I’ve got one across my nose from when I was a kid. Everyone was hanging off this tree branch until it got springier and springier until you could almost touch the floor. I was waiting for my go up the tree and the kid let go of it and it smacked me in the face and busted my nose quite badly. I’ve also got a scar from when I slipped on the edge of a disused swimming pool at school and cracked my head.

When were you last naked outdoors?

Quite recently, actually, because of the Sam Spade thing I’ve just done. There is a recurring theme of Sam Spade going for a swim, naked, in his pool. That’s with about 100 crew standing around.

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