Evening Standard - ES Magazine
EX-RATED COMEDY
Comedians Tom Craine and Nat Luurtsema, both 31, were a couple for three years, living together in North London. Now they’ve split up and are airing their dirty laundry in two rival stand-up shows at the Edinburgh Fringe. But whose take on the tragic spl
He says: ‘It worked because we’re both idiots. I believe that when it comes to love, we’re
all just idiots desperately searching for that one person
who’ll fail to notice. This was definitely the case here.’ She says: ‘It was the most amazing feeling, we moved in on the third date, named our six kids and planned to retire and open a restaurant called Dim Sum and Den Sum.’
He says: ‘By the end, our favourite position was spooning
with zero penetration.’ She says: ‘I blame onesies. I had a panda one, Tom had a shark and any attempt to wrestle each other out of them looked
like an Attenborough out-take.’ He says: ‘I was compering
a gig at Southampton University and, luckily, she was turned on by the sight of a man struggling to entertain students in a poorly lit room.’
She says: ‘He ran in late, caught his pocket on the door handle, fell over a chair and apologised to the floor. I like
my men concussed.’
He says: ‘After Nat moved out I spent three days in a shark onesie.
A Jehovah’s Witness came round, looked me up and down and said, “Yeah… it’s all in the leaflet,” before
running off.’ She says: ‘It was horrible. I cried so hard I had to peel my tongue off the roof of my mouth
like an old innersole. Only camels should get
that dehydrated.’
Tom Craine’s and Nat Luurtsema’s are at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival until 25 August (edinburghsbestcomedy.com). They are also appearing together as part of the Radio 4 sketch group Jigsaw ( jigsawcomedy.com) He says: ‘ I wish I could argue like my dad. He’s come to realise that being ill-informed is only a problem if you
back down.’ She says: ‘We used to argue in baby voices. It really cushions the blow to say, “I wish oo’d fink of uvvers you
foughtless pwick.” ’