‘IT’S ANNOYING THAT SIMON COWELL HAS THE POWER TO MAKE ARTFULLY UNINTELLIGENT MUSIC HUGE. DESTROYING MUSIC ISN’T FUNNY’

out gigging around their native Ireland in a converted disabled access van), and it’s safe to say ‘the novelty has already worn off 110 million per cent,’ says Josh, the heart-throb with his Bobby Gillespie bob.

‘The travelling is when you get to realise all the things you hate about the people you hang out with,’ pipes up Evan, whose dad, Niall, tags along as ‘chaperone, manager, ass-wiper and slap-giver-slash-amateur psychologist and mentor’, according to Evan. And speaking of mentors, Elton John says it’s their sound — think Arctic Monkeys via the 1960s — that puts them in another league to typical boy bands: ‘This is their career. It’s proper music. They’re writing their own songs and they’ll only get better, so the world is their oyster.’

Not that they’re on a mission for megastardom. As Pete puts it: ‘I would definitely take credibility over being a huge f***ing rock star, ’cos that’s bollocks anyway.’ While Evan claims: ‘The ambition is just to do something we love, to not be a dickhead and hopefully break even.’ No diva demands for their rider,