If you’re having friends round for Christmas and you want a festive meal that doesn’t take too long to prepare, Chinese turkey pancakes are the perfect dish. Just slice up the cooked meat, toss it in the spices and put it under the grill, before wrapping it all up in a pancake. Everyone thinks Brussels sprouts are awful, but when you shred them finely with cucumber, spring onion and a bit of chopped-up red chilli, they’re delicious. This recipe was inspired by the pancakes my dad’s family make. He’s Chinese Malaysian, and although his relatives are more into Chinese New Year than Christmas, they served up a whole suckling pig on our first Christmas with them, which is a real local delicacy. I was eight and it was as big as I was — I was horrified. My mum is Austrian and my parents live there, so we’ve spent most Christmases near Lech. I’ve been spoilt with white Christmases and we go skiing on Christmas Eve. I don’t cook because I become the kitchen porter at Christmas: I scrub pans, peel potatoes and let my mum order me around. I’d rather that than going shopping at Christmas, it’s too stressful. I used to stack shelves in Boots, and they had a seven-track CD that played Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ 50 times a day. I’m still traumatised by the experience.