HOW TO STYLE OUT A LONDON HEATWAVE

British people don’t like to make life easy for themselves. Our ‘keep calm and carry on’ attitude has meant that a piddly 1 per cent of buildings in the UK have air conditioning. Simply existing in this week’s 40-degree weather has been a challenge of fiery proportions. Travelling on the Central line was a descent into a Hieronymus

Bosch triptych, while London Fields became a Hogarthian mass of overheated bodies. So we’ve formulated our key learnings to take into the rest of this summer’s blazing climate anomalies…

DOs

Proportions should be skimpy or oversized. Think maximum flesh baring à la Love Island, or totally tent-like billowing linen. No room for half measures when you’re schvitzing buckets.

Goths in fishnets, New Rock boots and full leather are our bravest soldiers in a London heatwave (I used to be one, so, solidarity).

A hand fan, part Jane Austen novel, part voguing prop, is your wafty new best friend.

DONTs

Men: you must avoid putting on any beachwear in the city at all costs. We don’t want to see swimming trunks, foam flip-flops, or (shudder) you, topless on the Tube.

Dig out 2019’s viral black and white polka dot Zara dress. Do you want to look like every other Aperol Spritz-swilling person in the park?

Forget deodorant.