Also showing...
SPOOKS: THE GREATER GOOD
Cert 15, 104 mins
BASED on the popular BBC spy series, this spin-off will probably attract ginormous ratings when it’s shown on TV. As a film, though, it’s not good. Not good at all. Peter Firth (as MI5 chief Harry Pearce) doesn’t so much act as vogue. The same goes for Tim McInnerny. In one scene he pouts for so long that I wondered if the whole film was about to turn into a trailer for Zoolander 2. If only.
A passionate Arab terrorist may be getting help from the inside, while Kit Harington and Tuppence Middleton (both normally reliable) prove dreary as the youngsters who might just help Harry save the day. A sequel seems uncalled for.
TOP FIVE
Cert 15, 102 mins
A FILM in which brilliant comedian Chris Rock tries to say something coherent about celebrity culture, true romance and list-making (Rock always asks friends about their top five rap acts). In between, however, he pats himself on the back and delivers cheap gags, which makes for a hellishly awkward mix.
Rock plays Andre Allen, a successful mainstream comedian who is at a crossroads in his life. Rosario Dawson (so smart, so adorable) is Chelsea Brown, a New York Times journalist who persuades him to reconnect with his stand-up roots. Towards the end, Rock does a routine at a club. As he tells banal jokes, Chelsea — along with everyone else in the room — cracks up. Vanity, thy name is Rock.
BIG GAME
Cert 12A, 90 mins
SAMUEL L Jackson and a grave Finnish kid are the best things about a European family movie that can’t decide what it’s trying to say. As part of an initiation ritual, 13-year-old Oskari (Onni Tommila) has to hunt a bear in the woods of Finland. Things aren’t going too well, but then he stumbles across the American President ( Jackson), viewed as a wimp by the voters and even his own staff (one of whom has made a deal with a psychopath from the Middle East, which is why the POTUS is stuck in the middle of nowhere).
Maybe Oskari and the Pres will discover that toughness isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Or maybe one of them will learn to cock a gun, while yelling: “Motherf *****!”
It all looks pretty, but the chemistry between Jackson and the boy keeps things just about real and the action scenes involving a helicopter will make youngsters squeal.
HONEYTRAP
Cert 18, 98 mins
JESSICA Sula (Grace Blood in Skins) is extremely watchable in Rebecca Johnson’s south London tragedy, based on a real-life incident in 2008, in which a 15-year-old girl lures her admirer into a trap to win back her alpha male ex. The film asks us to feel for Layla (Sula), whose actions are, most would agree, unforgivable. Drama thrives on ambiguity. It’s a pity none of Honeytrap’s other characters are as meaty as Layla.
HEAVEN ADORES YOU
Cert 12A, 104 mins
A MICRO-budget look at the life of gentle genius, Elliott Smith, once best known for his Oscar-winning song Miss Misery. His horrible death from stab wounds (apparently selfinflicted) changed all that. We’re rushed through the singer’s childhood, then forced to crawl through the Nineties. While it’s fascinating to meet the girl of his dreams, Joanna Bolme, it’s crazy that we don’t hear from Gus Van Sant or Wes Anderson (Sant used Miss Misery in Good Will Hunting, while Anderson worked with Smith on The Royal Tenenbaums). Needle-sharp insights — the kind Smith’s songs were littered with — are thin on the ground.