If you’re offered a seat on a rush-hour Tube at least have the courtesy to be polite in return

for because they encourage a grim mefirst mentality. They also conscript people into making — often malign — judgments about others.

Men and women on the receiving end of an offer of a seat have an obligation to respond graciously, even if they don’t want it. I could not care less i f by offering my seat to a woman who looks like she’s had a challenging day I have somehow accidentally trampled on her gender politics. This is entirely her problem. I do care that discourteous reactions such as the one I experienced are far more likely to make the millions of London’s Tube passengers even more indifferent than they already are to those who really do need to sit down.

There is an old fable about manners in which Edward VII led an entire banquet table in sipping from their finger bowls simply to put a foreign dignitary at ease. The poor man had made the error himself and was looking somewhat embarrassed, and King Edward wanted to let him know that all was well.

I wa n t to see communal spaces (especially crowded ones) where people can be relaxed enough about getting it wrong that they are able to at least try to get it right. It’s never going to be fun on the Tube in rush-hour, let’s face it, but some basic old-fashioned etiquette is never too much to ask for.

By offering my seat to a woman who may have had a challenging day I trampled on her gender politics