ZOOM INTO GLAMOUR WITH SOME GOBSTOPPER EAR CANDY

IT’S dark, it’s cold and this interminably long January feels as though it might go on forever. But before you give up and crawl into a cosy hole somewhere, have you considered quite how much a giant pair of earrings designed to look like molars dangling from golden fingers might spice up your next Zoom call?

The focus of Paris Couture week tends to be on the dresses, but so far this season it’s the brilliant bling that’s really stolen the show. Dior gave us headbands encrusted with oversized pearls and matching earrings perfect for channelling a little Lady Whistledown on your next Zoom, but the stand-out adornments so far have come from Maison Schiaparelli, whose anatomical collection was chock-full of wonderfully wacky bling.

From golden brass earrings designed to look like a well-pierced ear to surreal eye-shaped orbs complete with green irises and false eyelashes, these were just the sort of discussion-diverting earrings to wear to that video conference you failed to prep for. Elsewhere inspiration came via the dentist, with drop earrings suspended from giant white enamelled resin molars, top right, and a pair of totally OTT shoulder-grazers formed of a cascade of golden pointed canines. “This season was all about power, scale and a kind of barbaric elegance,” said artistic director Daniel Roseberry. “Glamour with the volume turned way up... while always championing the surrealist heritage of the house.” Schiaparelli’s haute couture creations are made to order (and price on request), but the label has some similar styles available under its ready-to-wear offering now. Try the Large Tooth earrings or the brilliantly bonkers Visage earrings (£700 and £750 respectively, club-schiap. schiaparelli.com). Elsewhere Turkish jeweller Begum Khan has some similarly surrealist designs — try her All Hearts on Eye 24-carat gold-plated clip earrings, below, (£650, matchesfashion.com) which draw on Ancient Egyptian symbolism with an evil eye to protect from malevolent spirits. Prefer your lobe dazzlers more animal than anatomical? Try London label Shrimps’ new froggie clip earrings, above left, (£150, Shrimps.com), a jolly follow-up to autumn’s sell-out pearly crystal-encrusted designs that’ll surely put a hop in your step.