Where raunchy wolves and baking grannies rule
AS LIVERPOOL hosts Eurovision, how many of the event’s most WTF moments do you remember?
Italy’s table troubles (2021)
A kerfuffle kicked off when it was suggested that Måneskin frontman Damiano David had taken cocaine live on TV. He was seen leaning over a surface before a bandmate nudged him and he quickly sat up. He denied doing anything illicit and passed a drugs test but social media exploded. When Måneskin returned as champions last year, they were asked if they had advice for performers. “Have fun and don’t get close to the table,” David joked.
Belarus’s naked wolfman (2016) Ivan planned to perform Help You Fly starkers, with real wolves onstage. Why? “So everybody can feel the thin line between humans and nature.” The rulebook forbade full-frontal nudity or live animals, so he settled for a naked hologram and an animated wolf.
Belgium’s sarky robots (1980) Synth-pop trio Telex’s robotic performance incorporated synchronised swaying, deadpan looks to camera and glitter from singer Michel Moers’ suit pockets. It came third from bottom.
Russia’s baking grannies (2012) Viewers thought they’d accidentally changed channels to Bake Off when Buranovskiye Babushki shuffled on-stage. Six grannies wailed along to folk ballad Party For Everybody while baking cookies in a kiln. They were runners-up with 259 points.
Ireland’s total turkey (2008)
They might be Eurovision’s most successful nation with seven wins but Ireland got a bit too cocky trying their luck with feathered puppet Dustin the Turkey. His tune
Irelande Douze Pointe featured self-referential lyrics about “drag acts, bad acts and Terry Wogan’s wig”. He failed to make
the final.
Romania’s levitating vampire (2013) “Small children and pets should probably leave the room,” warned Graham Norton before Cezar’s It’s My Life. Sporting a glittery Dracula cape, he rose up from the stage on a blood-red tarpaulin. Hang on, what?
Belgium’s fake language (2003) Despite Belgium having three official tongues, folk band Urban Trad’s Sanomi was performed in an entirely fictitious language. They finished as runners-up.
Russia’s coiffure-conjoined twins (2014)
It was like something out of The Shining when the 17-year-old Tolmachevy Sisters sang Shine with interwoven hair, before moving to opposite ends of a seesaw.
San Marino’s Facebook song (2012) “If you wanna come to my house, click me with your mouse!” Valentina Monetta’s ode to Mark Zuckerberg’s creation was titled The Facebook Song until bigwigs deemed it too like an ad, and it was renamed The Social Media Song.
Finland’s metal monsters (2006) Pyro-fiends Lordi donned demonic wings and Viking corpse masks for Hard Rock Hallelujah. They were the first heavy metal act to win.
Norway’s raunchy wolves (2022) What could be more Eurovision than masked yellow wolves singing about phallic foodstuffs? Norway’s Subwoolfer went viral with Give That Wolf A Banana.
Italy’s breakdancing gorilla (2017) As a bloke in a gorilla suit bounded towards singer Francesco Gabbani, the audience feared it was an animal rights protester. But no, it was all planned. Occidentali’s Karma was a spiritual song about how we’re all “naked apes” on the inside, you see.
• The Eurovision Final is on BBC One and BBC iPlayer tomorrow at 8pm.