Cap­i­tal cork­ers

Evergreen - - Music Makers -

The pub­lic voted on The Ed­in­burgh Fringe’s Top Ten fun­ni­est jokes and here are the re­sults:

1 “Work­ing at the JobCen­tre has to be a tense job – know­ing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.” – Adam Rowe.

2 “I had a job drilling holes for wa­ter – it was well bor­ing.” – Leo Kearse.

3 “I took out a loan to pay for an ex­or­cism. If I don’t pay it back, I’m go­ing to get re­pos­sessed.” – Olaf Falafel.

4 “In my last re­la­tion­ship, I hated be­ing treated like a piece of meat. She was a ve­gan and re­fused to touch me.” – Daniel Au­dritt.

5 “What do colour- blind peo­ple do when they are told to eat their greens?” – Flo and Joan.

6 “I’ve got a new job col­lect­ing all the jumpers left in the park at the week­ends, but it’s not easy. They keep mov­ing the goal­posts.” – Dar­ren Walsh.

7 “Trump said he’d build a wall, but he hasn’t even picked up a brick. He’s just an­other mid­dle- aged man fail­ing on a DIY project.” – Justin Moor­house.

8 “I lost a friend af­ter we had an ar­gu­ment about the Tardis. I thought it was a lit­tle thing, but it seemed much big­ger once we got into it.” – Adele Cliff. “Why are they calling it Brexit and 9 not The Great British Break Off?” – Alex Edel­man.

10 “I think love is like cen­tral heat­ing. You turn it on be­fore guests ar­rive and pre­tend it’s like this all the time.” – Laura Lexx.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.