Jokes, Puns and Funny Stories
A mixed bag of treats . . .
Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie?
Because he was too far out, man.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is very heavy and the other is a little lighter.
What do you call an arrogant criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they said was Bach, Bach, Bach.
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A man walked into the doctor’s and said: “Doctor, I can’t stop singing ‘ The Green Green Grass of Home’.”
The doctor said, “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome to me.” “Is it common?” he asked. “It’s Not Unusual.”
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
1950s Christmas decorations?