BMW M340i xdrive
What’s not to like about this 369bhp estate? Very little. Except…
THREE MONTHS IN IS THE TIME WHEN the odd gripe or criticism starts to bubble to the surface of a recently acquired resident of the evo garage. The honeymoon period is over, the miles are accumulating and you start to notice the small things that are missed, ignored or not even seen during those first couple of months.
Now they are there. Glaringly obvious and staring you in the face every time you drive. The equivalent of spotting an imperfection in an otherwise flawless piece of artwork, or that area of the ceiling that you missed during Lockdown 1’s decorating blitz. You know it’s there and your attention can’t help but be drawn to it each and every time.
All Fast Fleeters have had something that has stood out for the wrong reasons and caught their custodian’s eye. The bonnet vents of our recently departed Vantage were crudely secured with a set of rather agricultural nuts and bolts. You couldn’t see them, but once you knew they were there the Vantage was no longer blemishfree. The RS7 that left us last month? The pathetic excuse for a pair of gearshift paddles. The i8? A great GT car with no room to carry any luggage, rendering its ability to be a GT car null and void. Alfa’s Giulia Quadrifoglio? Er, no, can’t think of anything on that which jarred, other than Alfa asking for it back.
The M340i xdrive, then. I’ve never been a fan of black wheels, but that’s something that can be easily rectified. In terms of exterior design I’m sure those with a degree in drawing can tell me about swage lines and other stuff but proportionally and visually the G31 Touring hits the brief of blending in rather than standing out. As 3-series Tourings always have.
Inside it nails the ergonomics like a massmarket car has no right to do. Where rivals sit you too high, the M340i lets you drop in and connect with it. A manual gearbox would be preferable, but the only people who buy manuals are those who buy their cars once they are five years old and have depreciated like airline stock in a pandemic. If no one buys manual cars when they are new, you won’t be able to buy them when they are used. It’s quite a simple concept.
Red interior? Yep, like that. Infotainment system? It has buttons as well as a touchscreen and gesture controls, so you can ignore the last two and still live in the ’90s. Same with the driver modes: simple, efficient, straightforward to operate. The M340 is also comfortable, engaging to drive, light on its toes when I need it to be, a do-everything family-car when required.
There must be something that vexes right? Of course there is. The instruments are an abomination. Sorry BMW, but you dropped the ball here on this otherwise exceptional car.
Date acquired October 2020 Total mileage 6718 Mileage this month 187 Costs this month £0 mpg this month 33.1