The Art of Overcoming
A Three-step Guide to Navigating Adversity
Life is not all sunshine and lollipops. Things will inevitably happen to challenge the outlook of even the most positive people. As I write this article, Western Canada is in the grip of a polar vortex, with temperatures here in the mountain resort of Sun Peaks plummeting to -36 Celsius / -33 Fahrenheit. Before I had my coffee this morning, my furnace stopped working. As a life coach, I spend my time immersed in personal development and positive mindset work, making me a positive, glass-half-full person. And I’m not ashamed to admit that this situation had me sobbing with frustration, anger, and disappointment. So it is from this very real place that I write to you about overcoming adversity.
Adversity can manifest in various forms, ranging from medical conditions and financial difficulties to mundane mishaps such as burning supper or breaking a phone. It’s natural to want to jump from encountering a problem to finding a solution, but this approach undermines the hard work required to develop mental resilience. Building this resilience is key to overcoming challenges quickly and effectively.
Using the three-step process described in this article, you can navigate challenges of any proportion. The more often you use this process, the more adept you will be, and the faster you will overcome adversity. Mindset is a muscle, and you need to train it regularly to be at peak performance.
Process Your Emotions
Resist the temptation to skip this step; it is integral to your success. Processing your emotions is an essential step in overcoming adversity. When we face difficult situations or failures, we commonly feel angry, sad, or unfairly treated. The best way to deal with these emotions is to process and let yourself feel them. It can be tempting to skip this step, but suppressing your feelings can cause more harm than good in the long run.
One of the most effective ways to process your emotions is through journaling. You can write down your feelings in a messy way without worrying about coherence or neatness. Pouring your emotions onto the page however they come out is essential. Emotions are not perfect— actually, they are really messy—so let your writing reflect that.
For example, your flight may be delayed, which may have a domino effect on your plans. In your journaling, get mad at the airline, whoever booked the trip, the weather, and any other things you want to blame. Releasing this negative emotion gets it out safely, reducing the likelihood of taking your pent-up frustration out on someone else. When processing your emotions, it’s important to explore blame and also take responsibility for your part in the situation. You should identify who you feel is responsible for your sadness and what actions they took. However, reflecting on your role in creating the situation and how you could have acted differently is equally important. Excuses and denial are common responses to failure, and it’s crucial to own your role in creating adversity when it strikes.
Research shows that people who take responsibility for their actions are more likely to persevere in the face of adversity. Accountability helps you to develop a growth mindset, which is the belief that you can improve your abilities and skills through intentional work and dedication. When you take responsibility for your actions, you become more resilient and better equipped to handle difficult situations in the future.
Reframe Your Thoughts
When facing adversity, reframing your mind can be incredibly helpful. One way to do this is to shift your energy by doing something you enjoy, such as walking in nature, kneading bread dough, or playing with your dog. It can also be helpful to try to focus on the positive aspects of the situation, even though it can be difficult. For instance, I found gratitude in being a homeowner with a furnace to be responsible for. Seeing the upside will help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed.
Self-confidence is key to overcoming difficult situations. To bounce back from anything, you must learn to recognize when your self-talk is working against you and quickly reframe it. Instead of saying “I can’t,” replace it with “I will.” Trust yourself and know that you have the ability to handle anything that comes your way. This will help you feel more empowered and better able to face challenges. Studies show that maintaining a positive attitude in the face of adversity helps you become more flexible in your thinking and better at solving problems. By seeking out positivity, you can learn to reframe challenging situations and focus on what is worth dwelling on. It’s important to remember that seeking positivity does not mean ignoring hardships. It means reframing difficult situations to focus on what is worth dwelling on. By doing this, you can gain a greater sense of control over your life and become better equipped to handle whatever challenges come your way.
Take Intentional Action
Now that you are calmer, less reactive, and more objective, you are ready to take intentional, considered action. Earlier, if you had taken action, there is a high likelihood that you would have rushed into doing something that you regret later. This is why it’s important to be in a calm state before you act.
Consider all the different options available to you and weigh each one carefully. It’s important to look ahead and think about the immediate, mid-term, and longrange implications of each choice. Also, try to think about what might go wrong, what obstacles you might encounter, and any possible solutions. Once you have weighed the pros and cons, deciding which path to take becomes easier. If your preferred resolution doesn’t work out, you already have plans B and C lined up. By thinking through the likely hurdles, you won’t get thrown off your stride so much, and you will be more readily able to adapt to each new iteration of your plan.
If your car breaks down, your immediate options could include calling a taxi or ride-share company, taking transit, or canceling your plans. Your mid-term actions might be having your car towed to a shop or calling a mobile mechanic. You might consider replacing your vehicle or implementing a proactive maintenance program in the long term.
adversity is a normal part of life, and it doesn’t mean you are a failure or are being punished. When you take the view that life is happening for you, not to you, you learn from each situation. As you practice processing your emotions and reframing your thoughts, then taking action, you will increase your capacity to roll with life’s challenges. Life is a journey; enjoy the ride!