THE WILDER SHORES OF LOVE
Carol says she and the station have been very happily wed
OBSCURE OBJECTS
Carol, 45, says she’s been smitten with Santa Fe station in California since she was a young girl, and so decided to make her relationship with the place official. The nuptials have not been officially recognised by the government, but Carol says she and the station tied the knot in late 2015, and they have been very happily wed ever since. “When we got married, I stood there and I told her that I take it as my partner,” says Carol, who calls the station ‘Daidra’. “It was the happiest day of our lives.” She visits the station every day, travelling 45 minutes by bus to visit her spouse. “When I get there I say hello to her – I then walk around the block circling around her, trying not to let anyone notice I am talking,” she says. “There is a private bit where two walls meet, I go there to touch her, which I do by leaning against her with my clothes on. When I’m touching her, I feel as though it actually holds me and kisses me. I don’t have physical sex with the station in public, I want to be respectful. I wouldn’t do that with a human in public so why would I do it in this case?”
Carol identifies as ‘Objectum-Sexual’, a form of sexuality focused on specific inanimate objects. The term was first coined by Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, a Swedish woman who claimed to be “married” to the Berlin Wall from 1979 until her death in 2015 [ FT240:22]. In 2008 an American woman named Arika made headlines after “marrying” the Eiffel Tower. She later founded the organisation OS Internationale, for others who identify as ObjectumSexual. There are thought to be around 40 OS woman in the world, many of who also have Asperger’s Syndrome. According to psychotherapist Jerry Brooker, OS women are motivated by a need for control. “Someone who falls in love with objects can control that relationship on their own terms,” he told the makers of a documentary on the subject. “Their objects will not let them down. That is extremely attractive for a person who is otherwise often desperately lonely.” telegraph.co.uk, 26 May 2017. For “car lovers”, see FT73:24, 126:12, 240:22, 331:10, 337:8. We should also not forget Carl Watkins, the man who had sex with pavements [ FT73:14, 93:15] and Ross Watt, whose obscure object of desire was a traffic cone [ FT166:12]
ON THE FENCE
A woman in North Austin, Texas, called police on 8 March to report her neighbour “outside her window having sex with a fence”. She saw Eleodoro Estala, 32, urinating on the side of the fence that separates their property. When he saw her filming him with her cell phone, he took off his clothes, put his mouth on the chain link fence and stuck his tongue out, and then began to “have sex with the fence”. When police arrived, Estala appeared to be intoxicated. Austin AmericanStatesman, 6 Mar 2017
LOST IN THE AMAZON
Kevin Chapman, 33, of Ashford in Kent, dropped his trousers in Canterbury city centre last March and pretended to have intercourse with a blue Suzuki motorbike. He also pushed and kicked the bike. In Folkestone magistrates’ court he admitted
dropping his trousers, but denied indecent exposure and claimed he was pushed into the bike by tramps. Sun, 14 April 2017.
DOGGY STYLE
Carol Bowditch, 64, of Evedon in Lincolnshire was filmed having sex with three different breeds of dogs: a St Bernard, a black labrador and an Alsatian. “When the defendant was interviewed she admitted she had penetrative sex with dogs,” Victoria Rose, prosecuting, told Lincoln Crown Court. “She accepted it had taken place over several years. She was unaware it was illegal.” She was given a community order with 12 months supervision and a 16-week nocturnal curfew. Daniel Galloway, 65, who filmed her, was to be sentenced at a later date. Lincolnshire Echo, 13 April 2017. For other cases of bestiality, some quite bizarre, see FT331:10, 337:8.
LOST IN THE AMAZON
Investigating noises in his cattle barn on 18 March 2016, a farmer in Plumbridge, Co Omagh, Northern Ireland, discovered Anthony Morris, 44, wearing a balaclava, a vet’s rubber inspection glove and carrying a wooden brush shaft. The farmer and his brother pinned him down until police arrived. While he was being held, Morris, who had a torch strapped to his head and was also carrying blue rope and a penknife, put on a foreign accent and said: “Me-me-stealear-tags. Me-me-lookat-tags.” But when police arrived they unmasked Morris, whom the farmer recognised because he’d done work for him in the past. He was also wearing a body warmer stolen from the farmer’s lorry weeks earlier.
During his trial, Morris came up with a host of weird excuses. These included: his balaclava, made from the leg of old tracksuit bottoms, was a “face warmer” he had lifted by mistake instead of a woollen cap; the wooden shaft was to help him keep his balance because medication made him dizzy; the rubber glove was already in the body warmer and he used it to clean fungi out of a water barrel; and he always carries a penknife to open food for his 17 cats. He was originally questioned about cruelty to animals but none of the cattle was injured. He blamed his presence in the barn on a mystery man who Morris said “forced” him to go to look at ear tags on the cattle because he said the farmer had stolen three cows from him. Morris said the unnamed man who was “a blast from the past” had threatened his 14-year-old son with a gun. Morris claimed to be totally blind in one eye and partially sighted in the other. He said that he can only see “black blobs” and was diagnosed with limited sight in 2005; nevertheless, he had managed to keep riding a motorbike. Belfast Telegraph, 26 Mar 2013.
WIRED FOR SEX
Kurt Allen Jenkins, 56, was arrested in Boyton Beach, Florida, on 31 October 2016. While parked near Citrus Gove Elementary School, he had reportedly “made sexual advances” to a 44-year-old man walking by, before opening the passenger door of his white Toyota so the man could climb in. The man declined the offer and snapped a picture of Jenkins naked behind the wheel with wires attached to his genitals. Jenkins was later arrested for lewd behaviour. Palm Beach (FL) Post, 2 Nov 2016.
CEMENTING RELATIONS
John Steven, 38, turned up at Sharon Kerr’s flat in Glasgow to have concrete poured on him for a sexual thrill. He had heard she had access to a cement truck and was expecting to pay her £150. However, he was ambushed by Craig Dalton and Matthew Harrison, who taped his eyes and discussed chopping him up with a machete. He suffered a collapsed lung and slash wound in the attack. Sun, 9 Feb 2017.
LIKE MOTHER’S MILK
A regression therapist who manipulated clients into sucking her breasts during sessions was jailed for four years. Former Christian cult leader Vanessa Clark, 63, of New Yatt, Oxfordshire, told one woman she need “mummy’s milk” as she guided her mouth to her nipple. She massaged another victim’s breasts until the client became sexually excited. “Ms Clark reassured her this was her ‘inner baby’ coming out and she ‘needed this’,” said prosecutor Henry James. “Ms Clark would then massage the woman’s foot before pushing her own foot into the victim’s groin.” Clark admitted six assaults, carried out between 1996 and 2001. She charged thousands of pounds for her “skin to skin” methods. Metro, Sun, 11 Dec 2015.
WALK IN THE PARK
Martin Todd was walking in Ninesprings Country Park near Yeovil in Somerset on 26 February when, in the middle of a footpath, he came across a pair of synthetic breasts, some lingerie, a wig, an outfit and a bottle of lubricant. “It was rather strange, I must admit,” he said. Western Gazette, 9 Mar 2017.