SIDELINES...

INVENTIVE STALKER

Florian Buta, 50, from Swansea, harassed his ex-girlfriend by sending her photos of receipts from her dustbin, covering her front door in masking tape, and leaving a cabbage on her doorstep. Sun, 24 Dec 2020.

WALNUT WARMER

An 85-year-old man set his flat alight in Aletshausen near Munich while warming walnuts with a hairdryer, which set fire to a shelf when the dryer overheated. It took 65 firefighters to tackle the blaze. Sun, 26 Oct 2020.

SEA COW CRIME

US wildlife authorities launched an investigation after a manatee was spotted in Florida’s Homosassa River with the word ‘Trump’ carved on its back. Fortunately, the marine mammal does not appear to be seriously injured, as the president’s surname was scraped onto algae growing on its skin rather than into its flesh. Nevertheless, video footage of the West Indian manatee caused a public outcry. Nicknamed ‘sea cows’, manatees are protected under US law. BBC News, 12 Jan 2021.

DEVILISH ACT

A man sprayed graffiti in red paint on a Bristol WWI memorial to advertise his friend’s skateboard shop. Lucifer Black, 36, [sic] was fined £25 for vandalism and cannabis possession. D.Telegraph, 28 Jan 2021.

TAP DANCING FORBIDDEN

Adam Tiano, 30, a property manager from Tottenham, north London, says his extreme phobia of people jigging their feet is ruining his life. He can’t watch football, avoids public transport and has rearranged his office so a foot-tapping colleague is out of sight. Sun, 24 Dec 2020.

ROYAL DIVERSION

The Duke of Edinburgh, 99, has spent decades building up a large library on ufology, an interest kindled by his uncle, Lord Mountbatten (who wrote an official report about an alien landing on his estate). The Duke spent last summer reading The Halt Perspective (2016), about the Rendlesham Forest incident. Sun, 25 Nov 2020.