SIDELINES...

CAR TROUBLE

Thai police received a report of a car covered in panties, bras and sanitary pads. The driver was a 41-year-old woman who had been spotted driving around a crowded market. She had lost her job due to the pandemic, and had just discovered that her husband was having an affair. Her unusual car decor was designed to shame him in public, but officers ruled her behaviour inappropriate and asked her to take down her panties and remove her sanitary towels. thaivisa. com, 9 Feb 2021.

NASTY NIP

Siraphop Masukarat, 18, watching videos while sitting on the lavatory in Nonthaburi, Thailand, felt a searing pain and found a 4ft (1.2m) python attached to his penis. “I stood up, which pulled the snake with me,” he said. “I ran out, knocking the snake down by shutting the door.” He needed four stitches. Sun, 10 Sept 2020.

NARROW ESCAPE

An unnamed farmer who fell into a 60ft (18m) sinkhole near Stank Lane in Barrow, Cumbria, on 4 March is thought to have survived by falling onto his quad bike. He had been riding across a field when the sinkhole opened up, and was pulled to safety after a four-hour rescue operation. There are several abandoned 19th century iron ore mines in the area. D.Telegraph, 6 Mar 2021.

TOWER QUEEN MISSING

Merlina, the Tower of London’s “Queen” raven, is missing, presumed dead. She vanished in late December, leaving only seven other ravens. Though Merlina had often roamed outside the walls, the free-spirited bird had previously always returned to the Tower and to the Ravenmaster. Sun, 14 Jan 2021.

COUNTRY CONFUSION

Mariana Minea, 30, from Trowbridge in Wiltshire, was caught driving at 103mph (166km/h) on the M4 motorway. She had just returned from Romania and told magistrates: “I didn’t realise I was in England so I didn’t pay any attention to the speed.” Sun, 19 Nov 2020.