The Dions – Dublin and Ce­line

The ex-eng­land in­ter­na­tional is sure his heart will go on – and he’s even eye­ing the Booker Prize

FourFourTwo - - CONTENTS - In­ter­view Nick Moore Il­lus­tra­tion Bill Mc­conkey Dion Dublin is part of the BBC Ra­dio 5 Live World Cup team. The BBC will pro­vide TV, ra­dio and on­line cov­er­age from June 14

“I DON’T KNOW WHY I GOT THE NAME DION. MAYBE MY MUM AND DAD WANTED A GIRL?”

Hi Dion. You in­vented The Dube – but have you ever felt the urge to launch into a per­cus­sive frenzy? Hi. I get The Dube out once a week, but I go into a per­cus­sive frenzy ev­ery day! I can get a rhythm out of any­thing. I’m al­ways drum­ming the ta­ble, and once I start, I have to get that rhythm right. It drives my wife nuts. Would you agree you’re the great­est foot­baller/in­ven­tor of all time, or was that Craig John­ston? Hmm. I can’t even pre­tend to be in the same cat­e­gory as Craig, as he in­vented the Preda­tor! He helped David Beck­ham bend the ball around the wall, so that’s maybe the best foot­ball in­ven­tion ever. Is there any­thing you want sci­en­tists to hurry up and cre­ate? I’d love to in­vent a tablet that, af­ter six weeks off at the end of the sea­son, gets you fit again the day be­fore pre-sea­son starts. It would be amaz­ing to avoid all of that run­ning. It was tor­ture. Are you con­cerned that tech­nol­ogy is ad­vanc­ing so quickly that we will soon reach the sin­gu­lar­ity and be de­stroyed by machines? No, I think we’re go­ing to find a way to work side by side. I think it’ll be all right. Do you have a point­less loy­alty to the city of Dublin, Dion? Yeah, I do have a re­ally soft spot for my name­sake city. I love the place. It’s all about the Guin­ness, isn’t it? I love it. It’s the Ir­ish lifeblood. I love the peo­ple, too. And do you ad­mire the other fa­mous Dions? Ce­line Dion? Dionne War­wick? You should be ask­ing them what they think of me! They’re both great, though. Amaz­ing voices. I don’t know what it is about Dions – there must be some­thing to it. I don’t know why I got the name. You live with it. Thanks, Mum and Dad! Maybe they wanted a girl? Do you be­lieve that your Heart Will Go On, like Ce­line? Oh stop it now! But yes, it will go on... What’s your karaoke song of choice? I don’t like karaoke. If I’m forced, I’ll do some Otis Redding. But I’d rather be at the back drink­ing a nice pint of real ale. Real ale, eh? So are you a Cam­paign For Real Ale man? [Chant­ing] REAL ALE! REAL ALE! That’s prob­a­bly go­ing a lit­tle bit too far for me, but I like to sup­port lo­cal brew­ers and help the small businesses out. You sur­prised ev­ery­body by popping up on Homes Un­der the Ham­mer. Who recog­nises you more now: day­time TV devo­tees or Nor­wich City en­thu­si­asts? The telly peo­ple. What of­ten hap­pens is, I’ll be in a su­per­mar­ket and you’ll hear a lady say­ing to her hus­band, ‘It’s him, him off the telly!’ And the hus­band will come back with, ‘He’s not off the telly, he used to play for Villa and Nor­wich’. Then there will be some mut­ter­ing and I’ll have caused a do­mes­tic. Su­per. If you could de­stroy the home of one en­emy with a ham­mer, whose would you pick? That’s a vi­o­lent ques­tion. Can I choose my own home? We’re do­ing some work at the mo­ment so I’ll prob­a­bly ham­mer down a wall. I’ll get some­body else to do the cre­ative bit and build it up again. As a de­fender, I liked a bit of de­stroy­ing. Your name’s an ana­gram of ‘Undo Bin Lid’. Do you take the bins out? Of course, al­ways. You know what’s also an ana­gram of my name? Noid Nil­bud! Ah, the old name re­verse. Noid Nil­bud sounds like a Scan­di­na­vian full-back. I reckon he sounds like a great au­thor. Noid Nil­bud, win­ner of the Booker Prize. Maybe it could be my pen name? Bril­liant. Fi­nally, who is the great­est bald man in his­tory? I shaved my head due to two bald men: Michael Jor­dan and Ed­die ‘Clean­head’ Vin­son. He’s a jazz sax­o­phon­ist and so cool. He plays the kind of un­com­pli­cated jazz that would make peo­ple love jazz, rather than hate jazz. The best sort! Thanks for chat­ting! No prob­lem, cheers.

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