FRANKIE GRANDE.

Life, love and Pride with the “fierce, queer queen” of social media.

Theatre queen. Reality star. YouTube sensation. Fashionista. There’s many ways to describe Frankie Grande, brother of megastar diva Ariana, but, as he tells us, he prefers to think of himself as a “giver of light” in an otherwise bleak world.

“I feel like my purpose on this planet is to bring joy to other people,” he explains. Whether he’s serving face (and body) to his 1.7 million Instagram followers, or uploading fierce dance routines and musical covers onto his YouTube channel – which currently has over 27 million views – this social media darling is certainly sharing the love with his legion of young fans.

Here, he talks about the importance of Pride in the 21st century, his self-appointed role as a flag bearer for the community, and why his sister’s new track No Tears Left To Cry is the ultimate LGBTQ anthem...

DM: With such a huge social media following, do you feel a responsibility to be a role model to your fans?

FG: I don’t feel a responsibility, but if I’m living as my true self and being 100% authentic to who I am, I do believe that this can inspire people to do the same in their lives. When it comes to LGBTQ acceptance, however, I do step into role model territory, because I feel like it is so unbelievably necessary to have people who are willing to fight and go to battle for our rights, which are shockingly being lost again. We’re going backwards, and we can’t let that happen. So when it comes to equality, I do step into a very active position and I do think that’s necessary.

DM: You also embrace femininity, which is something that often gets looked down upon in the gay community. Have you experienced discrimination for being this way?

FG: Yeah, actually, mostly when dating people. They’ll say, ‘Oh I’m not into femme boys’, and I’m like, ‘What!?’ But when things like that happen, you have to understand that they’re just the wrong person for you and move on. It comes from internalised homophobia. People are starting to discriminate against gay men again, so some gay men think the more masculine they are, and the more they can ‘pass’ as a straight man, the better. And then people start going back into the closet with everything that’s happening with the government. It’s so wrong.

DM: You also embrace femininity, which is something that often gets looked down upon in the gay community. Have you experienced discrimination for being this way?

FG: Yeah, actually, mostly when dating people. They’ll say, ‘Oh I’m not into femme boys’, and I’m like, ‘What!?’ But when things like that happen, you have to understand that they’re just the wrong person for you and move on. It comes from internalised homophobia. People are starting to discriminate against gay men again, so some gay men think the more masculine they are, and the more they can ‘pass’ as a straight man, the better. And then people start going back into the closet with everything that’s happening with the government. It’s so wrong.

DM: What does Pride mean to you?

FG: Pride is one of the greatest things that happened to me early on after coming out into this gay world, because you realise that there are a large community of people that are all celebrating their truth together, and it’s such a beautiful thing, because it’s when many people are encouraged to not be afraid to live their lives, and I think that’s the best part about Pride.

DM: Obviously you’re an out and proud gay man now, but was there ever a time when you weren’t proud? When you had to hide your sexuality?

FG: I was very confused growing up, because I had no gay role models whatsoever. We didn’t have YouTube, we had AOL Messenger, and that didn’t provide gay role models for me. I knew one gay person and he was like a goth gay, so I assumed that’s what all gay men were like. I was very confused! I didn’t see myself in him at all. So as I started to discover that I was attracted to men, it was scary for me because I didn’t have anyone

to talk to about it, and I didn’t have anyone to emulate. So I was very lonely, and scared, and confused. When I went to college, things started to open up a little bit, but it wasn’t until I moved to New York at 22 that I really started to figure it out by meeting other gay men.

DM: What was your coming out experience like? FG: I remember being so nervous to tell my little sister [Ariana], and I was like, ‘I have something to tell you... I’m gay’, and she was like, ‘Cool, do you have a boyfriend?’ and I was like, ‘Yeah’, she was like, ‘Great, when do I get to meet him?’ I was like, really? It’s that simple? So it went really, really well. With my mom, she didn’t know much about the community. She was raised in a different time, where being gay was very unaccepted, and she lost several of her friends to AIDS, so she was very concerned with the fact that I would be able to live a happy, healthy lifestyle. Fortunately I’d already met some very well-adjusted, out and proud gay men, so I was able to tell her, ‘Look, I can be one of those men in this world’, and she told me to go out there and do it.

DM: A lot of young LGBTQ people have started to adopt the term queer as a way to identify, but some older people in the community don’t agree because it was an offensive slur that was used against them. What’s your opinion?

FG: I believe that we need to take back these words that were used as hateful slang towards us in the past. Queer should be reclaimed and used as a term of empowerment, in a similar way to how women have taken back the word ‘bitch’ to mean fierce and strong. It’s like the word fa¥ot, these are words that are always changing and we need to take them back and make them empowering words moving forward. If people are offended, obviously we should be sensitive, but I don’t think

avoiding words is going to help anyone.

DM: Ariana’s new single No Tears Left To Cry is such an empowering anthem. What does that song mean to you and the LGBTQ community?

FG: Oh my god, I’m crying just thinking about it! I’m so proud of my sister, and when I first listened to that song it spoke to me about the stru¥les in my life. Obviously we went through a terrible tragedy together, and this song is a message to the world that you can come out of any dark place and into a position of light and power. I think there are many people in the LGBTQ community stru¥ling with their own darkness, who can listen to this song and understand that there is power and catharsis in moving through that pain, and you can come out on the other side and be a fierce, queer queen.