A note from us.
Every openly queer person has a coming out story – and every single one is different. During National Coming Out Day in October, social media was full of a diverse range of experiences, from the funny and the heart-warming to the challenging, emotional and heart-breaking. As a community, speaking about these experiences helps us unpack any trauma we suffered, as well as understand how our own journey is similar or vastly different to others. But often, the coming out experience is misunderstood. If you were to believe mainstream media – the many television shows and films with a young queer person sitting down with their closest ones telling them their biest secret – the coming out experience is an emotional moment that hopefully results in a huge weight being lifted off the shoulders of that person.
The reality, however, is very different. Of course, coming out is a powerful moment for any queer person – but it’s not solely that. Coming out is a process; a process that requires you to break down years of heteronormative conditioning, unlearn the views of queer people that have been fed to you from very narrow perspectives and rediscover who you really are. The queer experience isn’t defined by our coming out moment, but rather the people we grow into after it. As queer people, most of us are destined for a second round of puberty of sorts. All of that adolescent exploration our cisgender heterosexual counterparts are free to do through school and college without fear of being rejected because of their sexuality or gender identity, we have to navigate that later in life while, at the same time, trying to contend with adulthood and all the pressures that brings. It’s not easy; there are many reasons why LGBTQ people face greater mental health issues, and this certainly contributes to it.
But queer people have an incredible ability to take these experiences and use them for good. It’s why queer creatives are amongst some of the most exciting, revered and boundary-pushing out there. Challenging the status quo is in the fibre of everything we do, and most of the time what that results in is a cultural richness unparalleled. Queer music stars are revolutionary, queer screenwriters bring so much depth to storytelling and characterisation, queer fashion designers decide what’s next, and queer artists continually challenge convention. Pair that with some of the world’s most passionate, brave and history-making activists, the queer experience has produced people who are changing the future for all.
Our cover stars for this issue have both had challenging coming out experiences, but it was the process they went through following that that has gone on to push them to new heights. For Benito Skinner, he found his queer identity through his comedy. You’ll likely know him as Benny Drama, the internetfamous funny man who makes millions laugh with his parodies of Lana Del Rey and the Kardashians, as well as lovingly poking fun at the queer experience with a host of original characters too. “Truly, I think I started to love my queer identity through comedy,” he tells us in his cover interview. “The second I put on the wig and I was Hayley, I started to love all sides of me; masculine, feminine, everything. It just poured out of me at that point. You’re taught these things in a lot of ways, they weigh on you for so long, and you can only let them weigh on you until you realise that you have to live your life because there’s no way to do that but with an authentic one. Once I realised that I was ready to go.”
For Reece King, this is the second time he’s covered Gay Times Magazine. The British model spoke about his bisexuality for the first time in his February 2018 cover interview, but here he explains how he has grown as a queer person since. “Labels are interesting because I’m still learning about myself but I feel very comfortable calling myself queer or open,” he tells us. “When it comes to sexuality a lot of it is down to who you’re attracted to, who you’re having sex with and who you go to sleep with at night. For me, for the most part that is men but I’ve always been open to women. There seems to be this huge pressure on bisexual people because it’s kind of like you have to do both otherwise you’re not seen as valid, but whoever I have a connection with it and it works - I can run with that.”
We should all know by now that, despite what mainstream media may portray it as, the queer experience isn’t the same tale time and time again. There are commonalities for sure, but there are complex, diverse, nuanced experiences in every queer person’s story. It’s why we’re proud to welcome all of these different stories to our pages, and amplify them across our digital platforms day after day, month after month. It’s what we’ll be doing bier than ever when the third annual GAY TIMES HONOURS takes place on 21 November. Benny Drama will be our host for the evening, which will be a massive celebration of queer culture, community and entertainment. Better yet, you’re all invited. You will find out more information later on in this issue.
Coming out is a momentous occasion for any queer person, but the real power lies in coming to terms with who you are as a person; learning to love yourself, accepting that your difference is your strength, and most importantly knowing that being queer is what makes each and every one of us even more special. Queer people have been changing the world for centuries, and they’ll continue to do so for many many more.