La Plagne, France.
Ah, winter. I’ve always thought that winter is extremely underrated - growing up in Australia we rarely saw the temperature drop below zero, and don’t even get me started on the dreams I used to have about snow. Fast-forward to living in London, and I started to get why people tried to avoid winter if they could. The cold that gets through to your bones no matter how many layers you’re wearing, the rain, the delays on public transport - even snow loses its romanticism when it’s mostly just brown slush on the streets. Eventually, I only looked forward to winter for basic (gay) fashion-related reasons - the thought of my favourite jackets being the only thing preventing me from losing all hope entirely. But that was London, this is the French Alps.
Skiing has always seemed something rather elite to me - not to mention the fact that at its core it’s exercise, something that I’ve come to the conclusion isn’t for me. Stepping off the plane in France I was beyond sceptical - I was ‘ski-ptical’ if you will, but I understand if you won’t. We were greeted by a host of friendly SkiBeat team members and guided to a fleet of coaches to begin our ascent into the mountains, where I promptly fell asleep. I was woken up about halfway into the journey for a pitstop and while my initial reaction was outrage - who would dare disturb my slumber?! - all complaints were swiftly dispelled as I glimpsed the breathtaking scenery that now surrounded us. There aren’t really enough words in the English language to accurately describe the scale, beauty and magnificence of the Alps. Even from the slightly less glamorous viewpoint of a service station on the side of a highway, all around us the foothills surged upwards towards their snowy peaks with ferocity and poetic glory.
La Plagne is the most popular ski resort on the planet, averaging over 2.5 million visitors per season. But don’t get it twisted - the slopes are far from crowded. With over 225 kilometres of mountain and glacier at your disposal, there’s more than enough for everyone. Located in the heart of the French Alps in Tarentaise, Savoy it was the host of the Winter Olympics back in 1982 and boasts eight gondolas, 36 chairlifts, 38 drag lifts as well as bobsleigh, luge, and skeleton tracks. If, like me, most of those words have zero to barely any meaning to you - fear not! While the landscape outside became increasingly white, our onboard SkiBeat rep informed us of the range of courses available at the resort - thankfully mentioning the many beginner-level programmes on offer.
We’ve been put up by SkiBeat, one of the most trusted chalet holiday providers in the region. They’ve got over 30 years experience, and boy does it show. Our coach dropped us right to the door of our chalet, and our two hosts for the week were there to greet us with the vital information that the first of many afternoon feasts was awaiting us inside. The chalet itself is the perfect combination of homely functionality and rustic charm. After an initial confused apology that my friend and I’s room had two beds rather than one - they thought we were a couple which in all honesty would be an easy mistake to make given at the time we were wearing matching berets - we were all settled in. As we got to know the rest of our troupe, the joy of this type of holiday became clear. A catered chalet is essentially like going home for Christmas: everyone’s got their own room, there’s a fire constantly flickering at the heart of the house, there are DVDs ranging from the latest blockbusters to obscure classics from the ‘good old days’, and most importantly all the meals are made for you. Literally all you have to do is eat, which is something I’m extremely good at.
We got the housekeeping out of the way early on, picking up our ski equipment from the shop down the road and noting the selection of local pubs along the way. The others began planning which routes they would take when we took to the slopes tomorrow and exchanging such foreign phrases as “do you think we should go straight for a red, or do you want to warm up on a blue?” and “I’m more of a freerider, but I think I want to work on my carve before I hit the backcountry.” After discovering there was no option for ‘ski jargon’ on Duolingo, my friend and I took our matching berets outside for an extremely important
Instagram photoshoot before the sun set.
At the risk of repeating myself, everything up in the Alps looks like something out of a fairytale. As the light started to fade the valley exchanged its crisp blues for warm oranges, sampling every colour in between as it went. After our gorgeous home-cooked meal we all got an early night in preparation for the first day of actual activity ahead and my trepidation returned - would I too be able to shred the gnar? Time would tell.
Here’s a tip I wish someone had given me: if you’ve skied once in your life at the age of about 11, don’t say that you have ‘previous skiing experience’ when being placed into your lesson group. You may think to yourself ‘how hard could it be?!’ and indeed as scores of five-year-olds speed past you down the hill and your competitive streak kicks in it will be easy to listen to the little voice in your head that says ‘you can do this!’ Don’t listen to it. I learned this the hard way and almost immediately found myself at the bottom of the beginner’s hill covered in snow and quaking with adrenaline. Not to worry, I found my true group with only a mild sense of mortification and began learning to ski. On the first day, we covered the basics and were told emphatically that tomorrow we’d be ‘ready to actually ski!!!’ My sense of pride at this monumental achievement didn’t last long after I learned that while I had been figuring out how to not fall over while moving faster than a mile an hour, my friend had casually gone paragliding.
The sheer number of activities on offer at La Plagne is staering. Whether you’re looking for a standard ski/snowboard experience or something more X-rated (that’s ‘X’ as in X Games so get your mind out of the gutter) there’s quite literally something for everyone. My ski instructor told me of all the hike trails available, which in hindsight was probably some kind of consolation for how terrible I was turning out to be at skiing, and explained to me what bobsleighing and luging actually were. Over the course of the week, we got to sample many of these extracurriculars and still didn’t seem to scratch the surface of possible experiences.
Because I’m sure that everyone is personally invested in my journey to ski success I’m happy to report that in the duration of our stay I honed my newly-acquired skills and even got kind of good. Now aware of what a ‘green’ was versus a ‘red’, ‘blue’ or ‘black’ I can share the secret to skiing well, which is delivered in two parts: don’t be afraid and know how to stop. Once you’ve got those down, you can do anything.
All exercise aside, one of the best parts of the trip was obviously the collection of apres-ski on offer. From a pub quiz (which we won!) to karaoke and even what some might call a club night, the good vibes flow seamlessly from the slopes into the village - a reflection of the fun-natured clientele that keep coming back to La Plagne year after year. Our hosts have made this chalet their home for the duration of the season, and this is why the SkiBeat experience was so wonderful - nothing felt forced and it truly felt that we were just joining friends in their holiday home.
This relaxed feeling extended to every aspect of the holiday. Each individual among our collective was able to take things at their own pace, and the security of our experienced chalet hosts meant that no matter what we decided to do we weren’t going in blind. SkiBeat truly allowed us to march to the beat of our own drum and the week seemed to fly by with laughter, incredible food and only a few mildly severe hangovers. Even if, like me, the idea of skiing seems completely daunting or inaccessible, the selection of affordable holiday packages on offer will cater to all levels of experience. Whether it’s your biological family or your chosen family, choose the joy of no responsibility and travel with SkiBeat. At the end of my week on the slopes my instructor told me emotionally ‘you’re no longer a beginner’ and that’s just the kind of positive affirmation we all need in our lives.