Don’t be turned off by a financial date night
MONEY CHAT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE, BUT FINANCIAL HARMONY CAN HELP A RELATIONSHIP FLOURISH, SAYS VICKY SHAW
DISCUSSIONS about planning your will, or everyday money management may not exactly be the first topics that spring to mind when you’re planning a romantic date.
But, whether you’re chatting on Zoom to a new potential partner, or having a cosy night in with your long-term love, asking the other person how they feel about money issues can help indicate whether you’re destined for financial harmony further down the line.
So, how can you approach money conversations, or a ‘financial date night’?
Here are some suggestions...
FOR PEOPLE IN NEW RELATIONSHIPS
EMMA WATSON, head of financial planning at Rathbone Investment Management, suggests considering your financial compatibility from early on.
“Financial compatibility is very important to the success – over the longer term – of a relationship, but most new couples, perhaps understandably, don’t look beyond the surface level of how much do you earn/own,” says Emma.
“True financial compatibility is a meeting of attitudes, aims and beliefs, not just pounds and pence.
“If you are to share a lifetime with someone – with all its ups and downs, career gaps while the children are small, unexpected bills when the car breaks down or the boiler explodes – it helps if you are both on the same wavelength.
“Is your partner a squirrel? Not literally of course, but squirrels think and act beyond the here and now and tuck resources away for the harder months,” Emma adds.
“If you’re a squirrel but your potential partner isn’t, then it’s not necessarily a no-go, but it is best to be open and realistic about this.
“Most successful partnerships have at least one squirrel on the team and this works best when it’s clearly understood in the partnership.”
Dreams and ambitions can also
True financial compatibility is a meeting of attitudes, aims and beliefs, not just pounds and pence.
Emma Watson, of Rathbone Investment Management
give people clues about whether they may be compatible long term, she adds.
“Sixty to 70 is a very popular age group for divorcing, and perhaps one reason for this is a lack of shared long-term vision,” says Emma.
“If your dream is to potter around the garden in retirement, but your partner’s is to move to Barbados and open a bar, you might find some issues over the long term.”
TIPS FOR MORE ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS
EMMA-LOU MONTGOMERY, associate director at Fidelity International, suggests couples write down the key aspirations they want to achieve and set out a plan for how they are going to get there.
“Want to feel more financially secure each month, expecting a baby, or thinking about growing old together? All these things need some financial planning, and the first step is making sure you’re both clear on where you are heading,” says Emma-Lou.
Established couples may want to set up joint bank accounts, but Emma-Lou says: “It’s wise to make sure you both maintain a separate account of your own as well. This will ensure you retain some financial independence and that both of you are financially protected, should your relationship end.”
AND FOR THOSE PLANNING TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER
SHONA LOWE, private client and corporate director at 1825, a financial planning arm of Standard Life, suggests having a chat about wills.
“A will means that, when the worst does happen, as many of your assets and belongings as possible will pass to the people you want,” says Shona.
“Moving in together, getting married and starting a family are all triggers for people to put a will in place, but the truth is it’s never too early if you want to make sure you’ve taken control of who gets what.”
Shona also suggests discussing powers of attorney.
“Date night conversations often turn to plans for the future and you’ll want to do everything you can to make sure those plans stay on track. Having formally appointed someone you trust to make decisions on your behalf if you can’t for any reason in the future, is one of the ways you can do that.”
And if your wedding plans have been put off due to the pandemic, Shona says: “Certain financial rules and regulations are different for cohabiting couples than for married couples, especially when it comes to tax and passing your assets on.
“Make sure you are up to speed on what these are and how they could impact your financial future.”
In addition to these tips, remember, if someone you hardly know asks you for personal financial details or has a sob story for why they urgently need money, it could be a warning sign of romance fraud.
Go to actionfraud.police.uk/a-zof-fraud/dating-fraud for more information.