I don’t think I’ll be winning prizes for dad of the year just yet
REGRETS are something I never thought I’d be worrying about when the twins are only three years old.
I presumed the guilt would kick in when I miss sports day, the school carol service, or whatever else I don’t attend because I’m working.
Which is why I’m surprised to already feel like I’ve failed in some aspects of fatherhood. Obviously, life is all about learning from failure but what a shame this process has to involve my own children.
Judge for yourself:
■ Emma was peeling paint off the wall, and threw her toy penguin at me when I told her to stop. I reacted angrily, shouted and raised my finger, wagging it in front of her face to reinforce the message. She moved, I poked her in the eye, she fell sideways, smacking her cheek on a work surface, causing a large bump on her face and making me feel like a child beater.
■ And on the theme of violence towards children, I recall stopping Thomas sprinting into a café for ice cream. It was a lovely day, everyone was sitting on the grass, picnicking in the sunshine, when they witnessed a large man chasing a toddler, yelling ‘not till after lunch’, before tackling the child and sending him crashing to the grass. My intention was to catch his arm, but I tripped and took his legs out. For the rest of the day, he had a slight limp and viewed me with suspicion.
■ It’s a while back and I blame the lack of sleep, but I couldn’t get the twin buggy through the bakery
door. I saw a friendly looking man with a nice beard, who was smiling and patting his dog, so asked if he could just watch the twins, while I got a seeded bloomer. He happily agreed, I got my bloomer, a custard slice and a jam donut and returned for the twins. Only then did I realise he was a little unkempt and smoking a roll-up cigarette. He also appeared to be asking strangers for money and showing them the twins in their buggy. I smiled, thanked him, and noticed the alcohol on his breath at 10.30am. He then he asked me if I had a ‘few quid’ for keeping the twins safe.
■ On a trip to my parents. We were happily cruising along the motorway when I sensed Emma’s head next to mine and realised she was kneeling on the centre console. In the rush I’d forgotten to clip her in, and she was loose in the car on a busy motorway.
To be honest, it might just be easier to call this column ‘Regrets, I’ve had more than a few’, and discuss them every week.
One thing is for sure, I won’t be winning prizes for my parenting skills anytime soon.