New man deserves better than an old frump like me

I lEFT my husband two years ago after 15 difficult years together and my three children came with me.

By the end I grew to hate him for his sarcasm and bad temper and although it’s been tough going, we’ve managed to battle through.

Now I’ve met someone new and although I ought to be really happy, I’m feeling really depressed.

He’s a lovely man and deserves someone better than a frumpy- looking middle-aged woman with three kids in tow. I may only be 37 but I can see all the lines on my face.

I don’t want this to get in the way of my relationship, but I’m worried it already is. CS

Are you sure your depression is the result of feeling that you look older than your years?

I suspect it’s a lot more to do with the fact that you’re comparing the relationship you have with this “lovely man” with the one you had with your husband.

You probably also resent the fact that he knew you when you were younger and your new man didn’t.

You’ve shown courage in ending that marriage and strength in making a good life for your children on your own. You are in control so try not to let these things get you down.

As for the lines on your face, they are a part of you and show what you have been through. Your past has made you the woman you are, the woman this new man has been attracted to.

Creams and lotions can help and there is always plastic surgery but think carefully before removing the character from your face. jobs and travel arrangements? Fm

TAkIng a gap year is something a great many youngsters do, and it’s all a part of growing up.

naturally you’re worried, but let her go and she will benefit hugely.

There is a lot of information online about planning a gap year and it really all depends on where she wants to go and what she wants to do. I’d make sure she has an open-ended return ticket so she can come home if anything goes wrong and also access to emergency funds. Travel agents and banks can help with those.

Encourage her to call home at regular intervals and to keep a social media page. That way you’ll have the reassurance of seeing at least some of what she’s up to.