Has the guy I like spurned me bacause of my birthmark?

I’VE always been a loner, thanks to a birthmark on my face, but I was persuaded to go to a party a few weeks ago where I got together with a guy from college.

We got on really well and we exchanged phone numbers and promised to meet the next day. However, he didn’t come in to college and I didn’t see him until a week later.

When I went up to him, all his mates teased him and he told me he must have been very drunk because I wasn’t his type. He said he’d run a mile in future. I’m hurt and I think I’ve been stupid. D. P.

IF this lad was really as drunk as he is now saying, I think you would have noticed.

I suspect he was unable to handle the teasing.

You’re not the one who has been stupid; all you’ve done is trust a young man who is too immature to cope with being seen in a relationship with someone a little different.

It is hurtful, but I’m afraid all you can do is rise above it and give yourself more time to get to know someone next time. I HAVE two young children and am about to be re-married.

My fiance also has a son, a teenager who seemed reluctant to talk to me in the early days but things have got easier. Once we are married, his son will come and stay with us one weekend in four and over the school holidays. I’d like for us to get to know one another better but I don’t know whether I should leave him alone with his father most of the time or involve him with the whole family.

I am not sure he’ll feel too comfortable around my two toddlers anyway. A. E.

I THINK there is a balance to be struck here.

There is no doubt that he will need to spend time alone with his dad, but I’d be suggesting the same thing even if he were your child in a family with two little ones.

I also think it rather depends on your fiance’s relationship with your children – if he is actively involved with them then I think his son should be too.

Your stepson’s reluctance to talk is probably a lot to do with the breakdown of his parent’s relationship so give him time to adjust. Ask him what he wants. For example say, “I’m taking the kids to the park this afternoon. Would you and your Dad like to come or would you both rather go off somewhere on your own?”

Don’t be offended if he doesn’t want to come, but gives him a choice which will help him adjust.