‘I WANTED BEN’S HEART IN THE RIGHT PLACE’
Mum meets man whose life was saved by her son
A MOTHER has come face to face with the Glasgow man whose life was saved after he received her son’s heart.
Jacquie Pedley’s son Ben, a gifted student, died tragically at the age of 26 in a cycling accident.
THE mother of a gifted student who died tragically in a cycling accident has come face to face with the man whose life was saved after he received her son’s heart.
Jacquie Pedley spoke of the relief of knowing her son Ben’s heart is, ‘in a very good place” after seeing Mike Hanlon, a father-of-three from Knightswood, for the first time yesterday in Glasgow.
Mike told how the pair embraced ‘for a good few seconds’ and said: “Sitting there waiting for Jacquie, I was so nervous but I feel elated now.”
Time was running out for Mike, 57, who was suffering from advanced heart failure, when he received the call that a donor heart had been found.
While there was relief for his wife Lillias and the couple’s three sons, another family, hundreds of miles away in Cheltenham, were facing a heart wrenching ordeal.
Jacquie’s son Ben died, tragically after he was involved in a cycling accident in March 2017 at just 26. Only months before his death the Reading University student had renewed his organ donor registration.
His organs were used to save the lives of five people, including a toddler.
Shortly after meeting Mike at Glasgow’s Grand Central hotel, Jacquie, 56, said: “I feel as if weight has lifted. It was something I had wanted to do for a while.
“The heart is such an important part of my son and I wanted to know it was in the right place.
“It’s been incredibly hard. I think about Ben every day. He was an extraordinary boy but I know that this is something that Ben wanted.
“Ben had said, ‘Why would you not want to make good use of something you don’t need yourself?’ That was his attitude.
“I desperately wanted to know that his heart had gone to a good place.”
Wiping away tears and holding Jacquie’s hand, Mike described the moment the pair met as ‘magic’.
He said: “I was really looking forward to it but the last couple of days, you are like, ‘what if we meet and we don’t like each other?’
“I was quite quiet in the run up. It’s okay sending emails but until you meet that person.
“I’ve been desperate to meet Jacquie and it’s taken three attempts. When I got the email from Jacquie to say she was coming up in January. It’s just been such a great day.
“I’m a very confident guy, up until I had my transplant I wasn’t really an emotional person.
“Now watching Bambi makes me cry.”
After Mike received his transplant and was well enough, he took a letter into the Golden Jubilee Hospital in Clydebank for Ben’s family – after five attempts at writing it.
He was amazed to discover a letter was waiting for him from Jacquie.
Mike’s son Sean had also responded to a post on Facebook, written by Ben’s brother Will.
Jacquie, who is also mum to Will and George, said: “It was quite extraordinary. I was in the church sitting on the bench next to Ben’s grave and I hadn’t heard from any of the recipients and I was desperately wanting to know. My son text me to say that he had just received a message from Michael.
“I contacted Mike and I was so pleased to think that that the transplant had worked and that Mike was doing so well.
“We started to very slowly chat to each other by email.
“We have now heard from the parents of a baby girl who survived and there is also a boy is in his 20s who also survived.”
Mike, who is married to Lillias, and dad to three sons, Mike, Sean and Craig, said: “I sent a picture of the family together in Princes Square, pictures that I didn’t think would happen.”
Ben was studying chemistry at the University of Reading but was accomplished in a number of fields.
A grade eight pianist (largely self-taught,) he was
Five lives were saved because of what he did
also a keen cyclist, athlete, light aircraft pilot, skateboarder, snooker player and golfer. He had two Judo belts, he hiked and climbed, wrote poetry and was fluent in French.
At the time of his death, his family said: “Were you to know Ben, you were to know magnanimity and humble magnificence.”
Jacquie and her partner Andy, are full of praise for the staff at John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford, saying they went, ‘above and beyond’ to make the transplant process as respectful and dignified as possible.
The mother was able to stay with Ben in the operating theatre, while his heart was removed, and for some time after.
Jacquie said: “In my heart of hearts I knew that there was going to be someone on the other side, waiting for the right decision to be made.
“This is not just one person, it’s ripples, its families.
“I feel very strongly the way things are going with organ donation, where people have to opt-out, I think that’s a great way to go but I think there does still need to be a role for the family.
“I’ve got memories of Ben, I’m not sitting here thinking that Ben is here. That is what you have to detach yourself from. Ben’s heart is yours (Mike’s) but I do feel as if he is living on.
“I’ve signed up now and a lot of my friends have.
“This is what it’s all about. Mike has a family. To think that they could be going through what I’m going through, you just can’t imagine.
“I’m so happy for Mike.” Mike, who now campaigns to encourage the public to sign the organ donor register, said: “I think about Ben every day and the unselfish thing he did and the legacy he has left.
“Five lives were saved because of what he did. For anyone who is thinking about signing the register, I would say to them, read this story. Three people are dying every day waiting.”