When dementia hit my husband, he couldn’t come home to me. So I took home to him...
more specialist care than he could receive at home.
“When he first went into hospital, it was traumatic for us both,” explains Annabelle, quietly. “I was bereft. But gradually, we made it work for us.
“Yes, that did mean I challenged some of the guidelines. But the staff were very supportive and understood what I was doing and why I was doing it.”
Annabelle’s approach challenged many of the traditional boundaries of in-patient care, as it was based around a model of flexible day and night hospital visiting, the maintenance of homelife routines and activities and the active involvement of family as equal partners in care.
“It helped us to stay connected,” says Annabelle. “I think a lot of people feel that when their loved one goes into hospital, they have to ‘hand over’ that person, or leave him or her behind, but it’s not the case.
“Bill always saw us as a couple – he recognised my voice, and the staff told me he was generally calmer when I was there.
“We spent as much time together as we could, and when
I left, I would never say I was going ‘home’ – always to the shops, or to see my dad, or to work. Home was where Bill was, where we were together.”
Annabelle accepts every carer’s role is different.
“This model of care may not work for everyone,” she adds. “When you see your loved one change, it can be hard not to take it personally. But if someone breaks both legs, you don’t expect them to walk. When a bit of someone’s brain is broken, we shouldn’t expect them to act and react the way they have always