Why it is always better to resolve conflict than avoid it
When we have the skills to do this, conflict provides the opportunity to strengthen relationships rather than damage them.
Generally speaking, effectively managing conflict involves staying calm, empathising with the other person’s point of view, a willingness to compromise and the ability to move past conflict without clinging to feelings of resentment.
In resolving conflicts, be willing to really listen, paying attention to what the other person is feeling as well as saying and resisting the urge to jump in before they have finished speaking. If the relationship is really important to you, prioritise maintaining the relationship over being “right”.
All relationships involve give and take. Fixating on winning an argument or keeping the upper hand is a sure fire way of alienating the people you care about.
People often say “forgive and forget” but I prefer forgiving and letting go. Forgiveness might mean accepting an apology when it’s offered, not getting caught up in assigning blame and resisting the urge to punish.
Rather than forgetting your conflicts, use them as an opportunity for learning and personal growth. Let go of anger and agree to disagree when necessary.
Resolving conflicts in this way is a path to deeper connection and intimacy.