Try the ‘helicopter view’ to help see the bigger picture
WHEN we’re emotionally involved in a situation it can be hard to see the wood for the trees. Strong emotions cause our attention to narrow; to focus in on the details that reconfirm our emotion and miss the details that challenge it.
At times when emotions are running high, we need to “unstick” from the emotion in order to refocus and regain perspective. One way of doing this is by using a technique called the helicopter view.
Imagine you’re sitting in a helicopter on the ground. The helicopter takes off and rises into the air. The higher up you go, the broader your perspective becomes. Your focus zooms out, taking in more of the bigger picture.
We can use the metaphor of the helicopter to help us when we get caught up in emotive situations; to broaden our awareness and take into account information that we may otherwise have missed or discounted. Here’s how to do it:
STOP: The first skill is in noticing when your emotions are in control and freeze in your tracks. Simply stop what you are doing and don’t move a muscle. Give yourself a chance to respond rather than react.
SELF: Next, consider what is going on for you in this moment. What is it that you are reacting to? What’s happening internally in terms of your thoughts, feelings and body sensations? What are you adding to reality with your interpretations and assumptions? OTHERS: Now, consider the situation from the perspective of any other people involved. Try putting yourself in their shoes. How might they see things differently? Even if you don’t agree with them, can you find the kernel of truth in their perspective? OUTSIDER: The penultimate step is to consider how an outsider might view the situation. How would it appear to an impartial observer, watching from the sidelines? What suggestions or advice might a compassionate stranger have to offer?
WISE MIND: This is the intuitive part of us that can take into account all of the above and guide us to act in the interests of everyone involved. Wise mind is compromise, balance, the middle ground. After taking the helicopter view, what does your wise mind say?
Dr Ellie Milby is a counselling psychologist