How you can teach yourself to be more of an optimist
■ D = Dispute: Write down all the evidence you can muster to challenge your negative thoughts. Are there other possible causes?
Is there another way of looking at this? How might I react to the situation if I was feeling happy right now? What would I say to a friend who was experiencing these thoughts and feelings?
Pessimism stems from beliefs that negative events are permanent, pervasive and personal.
Challenge yourself to come up with an evaluation that is temporary, specific and external.
(Eg. There are lots of possible reasons why my friend hasn’t replied yet. Maybe she’s busy. She does tend to take a while to reply what with her work, kids and being a bit forgetful! I know deep down that she likes me. We have fun together and she regularly invites me to do things with her. She’ll probably reply when she gets the chance).
■ E = Energisation or how being more optimistic led to new consequences: Finally, write down the results of your more optimistic take on the situation. (Eg. Felt less anxious, got on with what I was doing, made a mental note to ring my friend tomorrow if I haven’t heard from her to check she’s OK).
Dr Ellie Milby is a counselling psychologist